Breaking Down “Rule’s 2 Da Game of Hoez!!”

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Three 6 Mafia wasn’t kidding when they sang “You Know It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.” Recently on Long Island, NY, Steven McDaniel found this out the hard way, and was arrested Tuesday for running a prostitution and heroin ring. Amongst the items confiscated on the premises was McDaniel’s list of “Rule’s 2 Da Game of Hoez!!,” a top-ten list of how to keep his women on the street. Hidden in this guide to pimping is more than rules to the game of hoes, but rather some deep advice that any young man out there can take to heart. Let’s break it down.

1. Alwayz make them need and depend on you so you have power over them. (Power is control)

Power is control, true. So deep. Motion to rename this document “Sun Tzu’s Art of Pimpin’,” is there a second?

2. Make them understand that you don’t need them they need you, they are replaceable. Never let them no if you need them down down insider.

Really surprised with the quick turn of character from McDaniel here. McDaniel shows his vulnerability here, showing that he does have a softer side, somewhere down down insider himself.

3. Never let no1 get away with sneak anything cause once they feel they can get away they will alwayz scheme.

If McDaniel didn’t already have a theme song, I’ve taken it upon myself to give him this. This is valuable advice for most young fraternity men. As rich, young, successful males, there will always be a target on your money and power.

4. No matter how much you like or care for 1 or any of them, don’t trust none of them. (Like Scarface, who do I trust?? Me that’s who…)

The world is yours buddy, at least it used to be until you were arrested. McDaniel likely broke his own rule and let some information slip out to the wrong person.

Every time some wannabe mogul references Scarface I can’t help but wonder if they watched that movie all the way to the end.

5. Alwayz stay 2 step’s ahead of the game you have them playin.

Plan ahead, and always plan for your hater’s, employee’s, or rival’s plans. Remember, everyone isz scheming.

6. Don’t let them no all your Plan’s. But alwayz try 2 no there’s.

Damn right don’t let your enemies and subordinates know your plans, but make sure you don’t forget your plans either, so write them down on a napkin and keep them someplace safe.

7. Make sure you own there mind’s, body’s, and soul’s. (N test it out every often 2 make sure.)

Does McDaniel give out written and conditioning tests to his girls? I guess if you’re trying to run the best prostitution ring on Long Island, that’s what you’ve got to do. Sadly, Albert Haynesworth might not be able to work the streets.

8. Keep your bi on the low as possible when it come’s 2 family and hater’s. (cause you can’t trust none of them)

That’s right, don’t tell your family and your haters what’s really going on. Too bad Walter White never got this advice, because that bitch Skylar is a damn snitch.

9. Alwayz try 2 no whatz goin on…(Make them tell on each other)

This is getting a little redundant, but I guess any good system has redundancies built into it. Damn this guy can pimp.

10. Give respect when respect’s due… (Follow these rules and you should b gucci.)

I half expected number ten to end with “BUT RESPECT AIN’T NEVER DO.” I think what McDaniel is trying to say here is to congratulate someone when they deserve it. What he left off, however, is to verbally berate them when they mess up.

Interesting list, no question about it. Although McDaniel did a great job of simplifying the pimpin’ game to outsiders, I can’t help but feel like he left a few things out. Please add your own in the comments if you think he forgot anything.

Follow me on twitter @JimDugganTFM .

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