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Several weeks ago, we reported on the story of poker playboy and All-American badass Dan Bilzerian picking up a naked porn star–quite literally by her vagina–atop a roof and tossing her into the pool below. She grabbed his shirt upon release, altering her intended trajectory. The result was a broken foot, as she clipped the edge of the pool while descending.
The sequence of events can be seen HERE.
I broke my foot today.
— Janice Griffith (@thejanicexxx) April 24, 2014
Janice Griffith, the injured porn star, is now threatening to sue Dan. Dan’s lawyer responded to Griffith’s counsel with the letter below, one that we have obtained fucking exclusively. His response is perhaps exactly how you’d imagine Dan Bilzerian’s lawyer would respond to a poor attempt at reaching into his client’s deep pockets–with just a tinge of asshole.
Enjoy.
Roasted.
Image via Instagram
Goddamnit even his lawyer is cooler than ours.
My mental image of his reaction to his final proofread:
Being this guy’s lawyer has to be the best fucking legal job on the planet.
My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My neighbour’s sister has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
This is what I do,,,,,,,,,
warpjobs.com
GO TO THE SITE FOR MORE INFO AND HELP……………..
I understand everyone is trying to hustle man. Believe me, I’m a hustler myself. Let me help you out. This is the wrong target market. You may want to try jezebel.com. They have really smart people over there that would take advantage of your amazing offer. These guys would probably just blow you up with a mortar in the desert.
Very truly yours,
Sleazy
“He will probably blow it up with a mortar in the desert.” TFM
Well played, WildBillQuantrill.
This guy makes Saul look like a bitch
“Your claim, like your client, doesn’t quite fly” #TFM
Our chapter could use a lawyer like Dan’s.
Fucking epic last paragraph
I enjoyed our brief correspondence?
Is that a paragraph numbnuts?
Affirmative.
I don’t make the rules skippy
I’ll take a tall black coffee tomorrow you fucking English Major.
Ok I lost this round
Please, by all means, try harder.
Tragi-comic things. TFM.
Power move.
Bid.