Burn Your Crusty, Stained Old Mattress And Pick Up A Fresh, Comfy One From Leesa

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Oh, the things your mattress would say about you if it could talk. Actually, it would probably still say nothing. Like a disturbed Vietnam war veteran, it would be rendered mute by the things it has seen. The terrible, terrible things. If it did manage to croak a few words out, they would probably be something along the lines of “Killl… mee…”

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“Kill me… please..?”

With all the puke and pee and other bodily fluids that even science couldn’t explain soaked deep into its fibers, your current mattress is FUBAR. That’s where Leesa comes in. Put your soaked, soiled, and stained mattress out of its misery. It’s time to upgrade.

BEHOLD, MOTHERFUCKERS:

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Goddamn look at that fine, luxurious piece. I just wanna climb in and spend my days watching Netflix and ordering Chinese– with or without the girl.

Check out these specs:

2-inch memory foam middle layer for body contouring

Have you ever slept on memory foam before? Shit’s orgasmic. You won’t even need to shell out $100 in cranberry vodkas at the bar to get a girl to join you on its luscious, cloud-like embrace. She’ll never want to leave your bedroom for even a few minutes — the question is if you are willing to share that memory foam love with said partner at all. Trust me.

2-inch AvenaTM foam top layer perforated to keep you cool and provide cushiony bounce.

Cushiony bounce? Look, you’re a frat guy. You definitely get laid. A lot. Leesa is not-so-subtly hinting that their mattress is essentially designed to improve your game when you get down.

6-inch dense core support foam for durability and edge support

We get it– sometimes things get a little wild in the frat lair. With the insane durability of a mattress from Leesa you’ll be able to give your guests all the support they need without busting a spring.

Prices start at just $525. Boom Shakalaka.

And as a bonus to TFM readers, you can save $75 now. Just CLICK HERE and use promo code: TFM.

They also have a 100-night risk-free trial, which is good considering what you did to the last one.

Leesa mattresses come compressed in a box and will ship directly to any doorstep in the U.S. for FREE. When’s the last time you heard about something that big shipping to your house for free? Ya haven’t? That’s because Leesa is changing the mattress game forever with its innovative and disruptive business model. But don’t take our word for it:

“This is the uber of mattresses.” – The Wall Street Journal.

Not only does Leesa make a mattress you’ll feel good on — they make a mattress you’ll feel good about. Each product is 100 percent American-made. What’s more, with the Leesa One-ten program, they donate one mattress to a shelter for every ten they sell. Leesa also plants one tree for every mattress sold, pledging to plant one million trees by 2025.

Leesa is available exclusively online, so make sure you visit the site before moving in to your dorm or apartment. You’ll be glad you did. And so will she (seriously, that thing you have now is nasty — burn it).

Save $75 now. Just CLICK HERE and use promo code: TFM.

Image via Shutterstock