As I’ve said time and time again during this election, I don’t care what party you’re in or for whom you’re voting. I’m your neutral friend, like Switzerland, or Costa Rica, or Vatican City (unless you’re a little boy). But regardless of whether you’re a diehard Trump fan or #WithHer, you have to agree that this Trump cake’s execution left much to be desired.
I have so many questions that need answered.
1. Did the Donald commission this cake for his own election night party? The tweet makes it appear so, but I’m not so sure. It seems pretty small for a stripper. Could be a midget stripper, I suppose, so let’s not count that out.
2. I have a hard time believing Trump, who loves beautiful things, would stand for this. Look at this abomination. No offense to the cake artist, but this cake artist deserves to both have their hands chopped off and endure forced sterility so that they can never curse the earth with something as heinous as this fondant fuck up ever again. Like I said, though — no offense.
3. Trump Cake looks like he’s seen some shit. The fuck went down in that kitchen? Who hurt you, Trump Cake?
4. What’s the most sought after part of Trump Cake? It’s gotta be the wrinkles. A lot of flavor in those folds, so I hear.
5. What flavor is it?
[via Twitter/Jason Volack]
Image via Twitter/Jason Volack