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California Bill Proposes That Porn Stars Wear Eye Protection

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Porn stars in California may soon be required to wear goggles, and not of the Arabian variety.

From Washington Post:

Porn stars could soon be forced to don far more protection than just condoms in California. New rules proposed last week by the state’s Division of Occupational Safety and Health Standards (OSHA) would require adult film actors to wear eye gear for many scenes. The rules, which have yet to be finalized, would also impose strict hygiene standards and outlaw common porn practices.

The law was proposed by a dude named Michael Weinstein, who has a serious fetish for science chicks in goggles and lab coats. I don’t blame the guy.

I feel like I could definitely get used to this stipulation. Nothing hotter than a girl who knows how to get a Bunsen burner fired up. Who knows the proper scientific techniques for extracting proteins from a test tube. Proper eyewear is just common sense for when those potentially hazardous chemicals bubble over.

But wait.

The new rules wouldn’t just sanitize porn. If adopted, they would also outlaw many practices common in adult films. Under the rules, “all bodily fluids shall be considered potentially infectious materials.”

You just crossed the fucking line, Weinstein. You can put oversized-spectacles on my starlets, but the minute you try to take away the money shot, we’ve got a problem. That’s like taking the explosions out of a Michael Bay action flick or the surprise endings out a Shyamalan thriller.

This isn’t the first time Weinstein has bent over the porn industry, either.

Five years ago, Weinstein submitted a formal request to OSHA to impose stricter hygiene standards and crack down on condom dodging. His organization was also behind LA County’s condom law.

Condoms in porn? Weistein’s trying to send us back to the dark ages. The condom law was only passed in LA County, however. This statewide eye protection mandate would possibly be the death of all pornographic production in California. Do you know how much porn is filmed in California? Basically all of it. Sure, amateur POV vids (my personal favorite) would be in the clear, but the big-scale, high definition features would have to pack their phallic-shaped luggage and find somewhere else to shoot.

Forced up against a wall, the porn industry is pushing back. Weinstein’s basis for the bill is the protection of actors and actresses from STDs, particularly HIV. Porn execs argue that no one has caught HIV on a “regulated set” since 2004.

Fear not, pornstars. Even if this bill goes through, I know of a certain house in Austin, Texas that would love to have you.

[via Washington Post]

Image via Shutterstock

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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