Canadian College Sponsored Orgy That College Said Wasn’t An Orgy Turned Out To Be An Orgy After All

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Remember that University of Toronto sponsored orgy at a Toronto sex club called “Oasis” that the University of Toronto assured the world was not an orgy orgy, but rather just a group of students drinking…and hanging out naked…at a sex club…where lube and condoms would be provided for free…you know, a non orgy?

Well, as it would turn out, when several hundred Toronto area college students showed up for the event, they ended up doing exactly what one would expect several hundred inebriated college students encouraged to copulate to do, they put anything and everything inside anything and everything short of the electric sockets.

As the DJ spins music on the first floor of Oasis Aqua Lounge in downtown Toronto, a few men in their 20s sprint from the pool to the hot tub without bathing suits. One floor above them, two women — also naked — are perched on a sex swing. Across from them, a man — again, naked — is tethered to the wall in chains and leather binds.

On the third floor of the club, Ryerson student Kay Poli lounges as couples have sex around him. Pornography is playing on TVs on the walls. For him, the event is nothing new. “I’ve been here before,” Poli said. “What I like about this sex club is that it’s open to all genders, all orientations.”

So the “orgy” turned out to be an orgy, huh? Who would’ve guessed? In other news, people at buffets across the country ate food.

I think the buffet analogy works so well, by the way, not just because of the amount of sex had, but also the quality. This was, at best, steak night at Golden Corral washed down with a Pepsi, not a prime cut at Perry’s paired with a $300 bottle of red. These people opted against an exquisitely pink center, instead settling for a handful of overdone, low quality pieces of meat.

But a bunch of Canucks humping each other like their warmth depended on it is not what I’m interested in. I can already picture that:

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What’s more interesting to me are the random dynamics of this orgy. One guy’s just hanging out watching people bang around him? Who does he think he is? Burt Reynolds?

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Also, who got in the wall chains first? Was it like an awkward junior high dance floor where a bunch of people stand around looking at it, and people want to get on it but are waiting for a braver soul to go first?

Watching thirty awkward Canadians anxiously eyeing wall chains at a sex club would make my life.

Next time on Degrassi: The College Years

[via Canadian University Press]

Image via South Park Studios

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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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    • 1
      Plan B is Plan A

      The “Conservative Party” of Canada is further left than the Democratic party of America. Same with most of the ones in Europe. When you’re starting from a default position of socialism, the word “conservative” is highly relative.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      GhostofKimball

      or America’s slam that only gets called at 2 in the morning after a hard night of drinking, and is constantly reminded of how worthless a slam it is

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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