Canadians Want to Ban the Spanking of Children

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In fraternal circles, Canada would be Foreskin Rushee. You’re inclined to just cut him right away (you definitely have the means to), but you instead let that loose piece of dong skin dangle around in the wind because it’s fun to fuck with him.

All I think of when I think about Canada is (A.) its biggest entertainer is a rapper who became famous on some Nickelodeon show, of all things, (B.) I’M NOT YOUR BUDDY, GUY, and (C.) how this is the same country that introduced the world to the culinary queefstorm that is otherwise known as Tim Horton’s. If you’ve never been, Tim Horton’s brings new meaning to the phrase “Digestive Pussy Fart.” Brooke Shields has better eggs than this God-forsaken shithole. And she’s sterile. Any country responsible for food this ButtholePiss-inducing should be strung up at a Celine Dion concert and have its testicles castrated by Brian Boitano’s rusted skates.

TL;DR- Fuck you, Canada. Suck my balls.

Where’s today’s latest source of anti-Canuck venom coming from?

An editorial in Canada’s top medical journal Tuesday called for an outright national ban on spanking of children. It’s part of a national effort to remove spanking as a legally allowed “corrective” physical punishment in Canada’s criminal code.

Spare the rod, spoil the child. Sorry, Canada, but you really missed the mark on this one. Spanking works. Every Catholic school girl porno I’ve ever watched has taught me this. All it takes is one swift smack to Indiana Moans’ bottom, and you get bet your sweet ass that she’ll never steal the Lost Dildo of the Cuntenant ever again.

Beat your kids. It’s good for them.

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