Nothing sets the mood quite like a nice, waxy candle. Whether you’re trying to impress a female with how deep and sensitive you are before you proceed to ruthlessly jackhammer the shit out of her with complete disregard for her pleasure, or you’re trying to make the night memorable for some rushees, candles are always the way to go.
Northwestern Sigma Chi knows this, but they had no idea just how memorable the night would become when they decided to spark up the wick sticks.
From The Daily Northwestern:
A small fire broke out in the Sigma Chi fraternity house Tuesday evening.
No injuries occurred and only minor property damage was sustained, University Police Deputy Chief Dan McAleer told The Daily in an email.
The fire at the house, 2249 Sheridan Rd., occurred after dinner during a fraternity recruitment event, when potential members are invited to join the fraternity, Sigma Chi president Walker McKinney said. A partition had been set up using a bedsheet to create a backdrop for the event in a candle-lit room on the second floor.
Walker McKinney, you’re on the fast track to being included in the 2017 edition of the Fraternity All-Name Team.
Apparently, someone forgot to blow out the candles, the bed sheet fell into the flame, and the inferno began. Luckily, a brother, who I can only assume has now been appointed risk manager, thought to grab a fire extinguisher and put out the blaze. Considering roughly 100% of my fraternity brothers’ first reactions would have been to pour the closest liquid — almost assuredly some sort of alcohol — onto the blaze instead of grabbing a fire extinguisher shows just how bad this could’ve ended up. It’s not my boys’ fault, though. Fire extinguisher is a pretty vague name.
1: “ELIOT, THERE’S A FIRE UPSTAIRS! WHAT DO WE DO?”
2: “FUCK! I DON’T KNOW!!! IF ONLY WE HAD SOMETHING WITH WHICH TO EXTINGUISH THIS FIRE! IS THERE ANYTHING LABELED HOT THING PUTTER-OUTTER LYING AROUND???”
1: “I DON’T SEE ANYTHING, MAN! WAIT, THERE’S A HANDLE OF EVERCLEAR LEFT OVER FROM OUR ‘BREADBASKET OF AMERICA’ GRAIN-ONLY PARTY SITTING ON TOP OF THE UNOPENED FIRE SAFETY MANUAL FROM NATIONALS. I’LL USE THAT!
Even if my fraternity brothers had thought to go get a fire extinguisher in this situation, odds are it wouldn’t have been in its registered location, the “BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY” glass having been broken in some situation improperly deemed an emergency, like whiskeydick or having your formal date cancel on you.
Nice job with the quick thinking, Northwestern Sigma Chi. Head on a swivel for the rest of recruitment..
[via The Daily Northwestern]
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