Talk about a power move. Tony Cruz, the backup catcher for the St. Louis Cardinals — a role which, considering who he backs up, might as well be called “being that guy no one ever wants to see” — has some big shoes to fill while All-Star catcher Yadier Molina sits on the DL recovering from surgery to repair a torn ligament in his right thumb. Helping (the best and classiest) fans temporarily forget about Molina, who is the Cardinals’ most popular and arguably most valuable player, is not an enviable task. Cruz, however, is doing his best to help the fans get over the loss of Molina. At least, Cruz is doing his best to help Cards fans forget Molina before he gets to the plate, because once he gets there, oh man does he suck ass.
The point is, Tony Cruz has the best walk up music in baseball right now, and the rest of the league just got put on notice that they need to step up their game. Here’s Cruz coming to bat against the Tampa Bay Rays as McConaughey’s epic chest bump pump up from “The Wolf of Wall Street” blares over the Busch Stadium sound system.
Hell’s Coming With Me – Tombstone
This would be perfect for a closer’s entrance. What’s Craig Kimbrel entering to these days? From now on it should be this.
Bitch, You Don’t Have A Future – Kill Bill, Volume 2
This would be fine in any women’s sport, really. I know they don’t have walk up music for PKs, but Alex Morgan walking up to the box for the clinching PK with that playing in the background would both arouse and terrify me. The goalie would probably just break down into a weeping mess and crawl away.
Win The Whole Fuckin’ Thing – Major League
This is kind of cheating, since it’s from a sports movie, and it’s kind of a quiet scene, but this should be played before every potential series clinching playoff game a home team has.
Blame Canada – South Park
Any time the U.S. plays Canada in anything.