My 4 year-old brother got extra candy at the 4th of July parade for pelvic thrusting to “God Bless America.” TFM.
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Not knowing how to make any mixed drink that requires more than two ingredients. TFM.
Describing every competition you don’t win as “horse shit,” “rigged,” or “un-American.” TFM.
Getting the wrong lens prescription because you took the eye exam while intoxicated. TFM.