Jacking one up from 30 feet while yelling “heat check!” TFM.
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Claiming 100% of the glory when something goes right, but 0% of the blame if something goes wrong. TFM.
Tom Brady sticking to his story. TFM.
Having to make up an excuse on the spot when the salesman asks why you’re buying electric collars in bulk. TFM.
Bringing a ladder and a pair of scissors to your intramural basketball championship game. TFM.
Harassing the band until they play Margaritaville. TFM.
Your first instinct in any physical mishap being to protect your beer. TFM.
Bat flipping a routine single. TFM.
Andy Bernard wanting his coworkers to address him by his college nickname 15 years after graduation. TFM.
Throwing your old New Balances over a power line to signify your fraternity’s dominance of Greek Row. TFM.
Having the “maybe you took things too far this time” meeting with your chapter president. TFM.
Having a Jason Day-esque collapse on the back nine, except yours being due to alcohol consumption instead of vertigo. TFM.
Walking into a bar and automatically connecting to the Wi-Fi. TFM.
Waking up to find your boat shoes untied letting you know last night was probably a pretty good time. TFM.
Doing drugs without looking like you do drugs. TFM.
Owning more Hawaiian shirts than you should for living in the Midwest. TFM.
Referring to sleeping with a girl below a 7 as “going below the hard deck.” TFM.
Wasting away again in Margaritaville. TFM.
Stopping at first instead of legging out a double so you can borrow a lighter from the first base coach. TFM.
Feeding pledges the separate ingredients of cookies, but not actual cookies. TFM.