Having the pregame antics of Russell Westbrook with none of the actual in-game skills. TFM.
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Making dry events wet. TFM.
Having noticeably more door frames than doors. TFM.
Having to be asked to button your Hawaiian. TFM.
Having “dad strength.” TFM.
Taking the fine. TFM.
The lone pair of crutches that circulates around the house. TFM.
Being bad at sports that require natural athleticism. TFM.
Owning retro NBA jerseys just to day drink in. TFM.
“Good guy once you get to know him.” TFM.
Dressing like a dad, while praying to God you don’t become one. TFM.
“I’m sorry I got too drunk” dinners with your girlfriend. TFM.
Wearing $80 golf polos just to drink in. TFM.
Slowly discovering new injuries from last night throughout the day. TFM.
Creating an unsafe space for the pledges. TFM.
Drinking excessively to celebrate minor accomplishments. TFM.
Shooting a “heat check” three-pointer even though you’re 1 for 8 from beyond the arc. TFM.
Claiming you “took one for the team” while acting solely in self interest. TFM.
“Great guy, though.” TFM.
Attending a university that doesn’t have “safe spaces.” TFM.