Telling the pledges, “You got yourselves into this mess, you need to get yourselves out,” after being 100% responsible for the situation they’re in. TFM.
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Claiming your excessive intoxication at a philanthropy event was “in the spirit of the games.” TFM.
Not being in good enough shape to play in the competitive league, and being too “competitive” to play in the recreational league. TFM.
Replying “unsubscribe” to her clingy texts. TFM.
Getting “wake up in a golf cart” drunk. TFM.
The roar of approval when a brother announces he’s newly single. TFM.
Making the pledges take you off on a stretcher after twisting your ankle in IM flag football. TFM.
Hosting an annual 1k run for childhood obesity. TFM.
Telling your date she cleans up nicely. TFM.
Excessively doing the “throw the flag” motion anytime you drop a pass in IM football. TFM.
Forrest Gump replying, “No, but I’ve been on a real big boat,” when asked if he’d ever been on a real shrimp boat. TFM.
All four thrift stores in town being out of Hawaiian shirts. TFM.
Finding out you were seeing each other when she informs you she’d like to stop seeing each other. TFM.
Your house becoming a Bermuda Triangle for random articles of women’s clothing. TFM.
When questioned about your relationship status, quickly stating it’s a “fugazi.” TFM.
Using the same dance moves for every song. TFM.
Handing the professor a copy of your own personal attendance policy. TFM.
Preceding wildly inaccurate statements with “correct me if I’m wrong…” TFM.
She got sent to standards. I got high fives. TFM.
Sharing your mugshot on social media. TFM.