Being great at unimportant shit. TFM.
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Loudly yelling, “Daddy’s home!” when entering a banger. TFM.
“What kind of party is this all for?” TFM.
Sober ideas, drunkenly executed. TFM.
Tipping a GDI for holding the door for you on your way into class. TFM.
Sitting just far enough away from your hot TA that she can’t tell whether you’re staring at her eyes or her breasts. TFM.
Announcing a press conference after a two-week suspension from intramurals. TFM.
Sarcastically mouthing your complete Miranda Rights along with your arresting officer. TFM.
Yelling, “Omaha!” every time you switch sex positions. TFM.
Having helicopter parents, but in the sense that your parents actually own a helicopter. TFM.
Being great at sports that you can hold a beer while playing. TFM.
Commenting that the amount of fun you’re having should be illegal, then realizing it actually is. TFM.
Everyone in your lecture becoming well aware of last night’s party theme. TFM.
Vest weather. TFM.
Making sure the guy handing out PETA flyers hears your exaggerated hunting stories. TFM.
Paying the fine but not apologizing. TFM.
Both the pledges and you not knowing what you’re punishing them for. TFM.
Unnecessary headbands for intramural games. TFM.
Complaining about tuition costs while purchasing top-shelf liquor. TFM.
Describing your fifth year of school as “shooting for bogey.” TFM.