Rusty Griswold finishing his old man’s beer. TFM.
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Not letting facts get in the way of a good story. TFM.
Having the pledges hunt and kill your Thanksgiving turkey. TFM.
“Just let me do all the talking,” when you should be doing none of the talking. TFM.
The severe underestimation of the amount of alcohol you consume still being dangerously excessive in your doctor’s opinion. TFM.
Somehow managing to play through your minor intramural injury while simultaneously using it as an excuse to miss class. TFM.
Confirming the ratio before attending your own party. TFM.
Asking the ref what the mercy rule is after hitting a routine jumper to take a 2-0 lead. TFM.
Your arrival time having an “-ish” at the end. TFM.
Considering any class after 3 p.m. a great opportunity to practice proper flaskmanship. TFM.
“If it were up to me…” preceding an example of why you are never put in charge. TFM.
Threatening your IM opponents with “Be ready to get dunked on,” despite clearly lacking the physical stature or athletic ability to dunk a basketball. TFM.
Hiring maid service in between pledge classes. TFM.
Stating that you have a note from your doctor when your professor asks you why you’re clearly intoxicated in his class. TFM.
Getting “Gronk spike everything you put in my hands” drunk. TFM.
Assuring the pledges that the upcoming event is going to be fun. TFM.
Mitch being announced at his own party as a successful and very disease-free gentleman. TFM.
Celebratory double middle fingers to the opposing crowd after making a routine jump shot in IM basketball. TFM.
Telling the pledges they won’t be allowed to go home for Thanksgiving. TFM.
Not letting your lack of knowledge of the lyrics stop you from drunkenly singing. TFM.