Not knowing which home your parents are at during any given time. TFM.
Being a dick about it. TFM.
The inability to make responsible decisions because people are chanting your name. TFM.
Extending a bid to the new guy, and extending even more to his sister. TFM.
Believing that wearing a vintage NBA jersey makes you slightly more athletic. TFM.
Referring to your savings account as your slush fund. TFM.
Having to watch the highlights of the game you attended. TFM.
Referring to tuition as your “tab.” TFM.
Using the death of a gorilla as an excuse to pull your dick out. TFM.
Being either pre-law or pre-med, depending on the situation. TFM.
Telling both twins they’re the prettier one. TFM.
Ryan Lochte blaming youth for his shenanigans despite being 32 years old. TFM.
Ryan Lochte getting drunk and causing an international incident. TFM.
Team USA dominating the medal count despite accusations stating “they’ve been treating the Olympics like a big spring break party.” TFM.
NBC’s “no Americans, no coverage” policy for the Olympics. TFM.
Having to keep putting off the date for the “new pool” you promised the pledges during rush. TFM.
Tim Tebow being confident he can play a sport professionally that he hasn’t played since high school. TFM.
Getting a gold Rolex for graduating from Ole Miss in five years. TFM.
“You guys were a lot nicer during rush.” TFM.
“My lawyer’s name is Joshua Goldstein-Weinberger. Come at me, bro.” TFM.