Trying your best to look like a dad, while trying your hardest not to be one. TFM.
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Insisting that the jury is still out on what happened, even though everyone knows exactly what happened. TFM.
Trying to pass off the stripper pole in the basement as a necessary support beam during house inspections. TFM.
Leading a round of applause for Friday’s class being canceled, even though you had no intention of going in the first place. TFM.
Forrest quickly countering Jenny’s “Have you ever been with a girl?” question by saying he only sits next to them in class. TFM.
“It was an unfortunate situation that in no way reflects who I truly am.” TFM.
Using the single Ebola case in Dallas as an excuse to throw an End of the World banger. TFM.
The prevalence of boat shoes in your landlocked state. TFM.
Making a WWF-like entrance when being challenged to a drink-off. TFM.
The faint smell of cheap booze that is never coming out of your favorite blazer. TFM.
Assuming your immune system is strong enough to beat Ebola because you survived living in a fraternity house for two years. TFM.
Coincidentally getting too sick to attend class on days that have perfect golfing weather. TFM.
Forrest sneaking into Jenny’s all-girl dormitory to hook up. TFM.
Rewarding the pledges’ good deeds with more chores. TFM.
American Express having a better recollection of your weekend than you do. TFM.
The unspoken battle of who flies the biggest flag on the street. TFM.
Calling your friend’s sexuality into question when he dresses better than you for the first time. TFM.
When your professor addresses you as “frat guy in the back.” TFM.
People either describing you as a gentleman or a dick, and nobody really being wrong. TFM.
America welcoming an entire continent as an opponent. TFM.