Eric Cartman keeping South Park hippie-free since the age of 5. TFM.
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Your speech to run for Judicial Board being “I’ve been J-Boarded the most this year, therefore I should be on J-Board.” TFM.
The NBA Replay Center having Animal House playing on several monitors. TFM.
Johnny Manziel not taking his career as a professional quarterback as seriously as he probably should. TFM.
Being extremely vocal about your sexual goals for the evening. TFM.
Otter comparing bad-mouthing the Delta house to bad-mouthing the United States of America. TFM.
Johnny Manziel reverting back to his old partying ways after getting the starting job back. TFM.
Being the house’s default legal consultant based solely on your numerous run-ins with the law. TFM.
The “Is this guy bothering you?” move to a hot girl who’s very clearly dancing with her boyfriend. TFM.
The inherent need to drink from the highest possible elevation. TFM.
Saying that the unhealthy behavior you’re engaging in is “just to take the edge off” while actually in a very low stress situation. TFM.
Wearing shorts that cause discomfort both to you and others in your vicinity. TFM.
The last minute check for anything illegal before going through airport security. TFM.
Having a prescription to study drugs since a pledge has a prescription to study drugs. TFM.
Impressing your friends, un-impressing hers. TFM.
Having the pledges do things that your mom used to do for you. TFM.
The calluses on your hands being from golf, not manual labor. TFM.
The number of points you have in intramural basketball always being divisible by three. TFM.
Telling her you finished so fast because you have a very important IM game to get to. TFM.
Saying you do something “a healthy amount” about something that isn’t healthy at all. TFM.