Being significantly tanner after winter break. TFM.
Home field advantage not mattering to the US military. TFM.
Joe Biden breaking out the finger pistol during the President’s Farewell Address. TFM.
Dad sending the family Christmas card to his Jewish accountant. TFM.
Making it clear to a girl who’s clearly out of your league that you’re actually out of hers. TFM.
Over-the-top, Pablo Escobar in Narcos inspired pant adjustments every time you stand up. TFM.
Stats padded. Game lost. TFM.
Dad telling his fraternity stories when Mom is out of ear shot. TFM.
Having to say “Coca-Cola.” TFM.
Having your girlfriend in your Tinder profile picture. TFM.
Tying her up with laces of your old boat shoes. TFM.
Tying her up with Comfort Colors tees. TFM.
Country club bar, dive bar attitude. TFM.
The only 8 a.m. you get up for is your tee time. TFM.
Not knowing which home your parents are at during any given time. TFM.
Being a dick about it. TFM.
The inability to make responsible decisions because people are chanting your name. TFM.
Extending a bid to the new guy, and extending even more to his sister. TFM.
Believing that wearing a vintage NBA jersey makes you slightly more athletic. TFM.
Referring to your savings account as your slush fund. TFM.