Not remembering most things you’re best known for. TFM.
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Saying, “As you were…” after walking into a room where no one is standing, talking, or has otherwise acknowledged your arrival. TFM.
“It’s not an orgy. It’s a toga party.” TFM.
Nicknaming her the drink you had in your hand while meeting her. TFM.
Making it the pledges’ problem. TFM.
Summer not ending until the first midterm. TFM.
Giving the professor your office hours. TFM.
Having the audacity. TFM.
Having a “we’ll get ‘em next year” attitude towards your grades. TFM.
Clint Trickett getting in Saban’s head. TFM.
Dad getting a Suburban to balance out Mom’s Tesla. TFM.
Having “so much in common” with every girl you meet. TFM.
“Thank you, but I can’t accept that,” when the officer tries to hand you a ticket. TFM.
Not worrying about a possible ebola outbreak, because after living in the frat house, there’s nothing your immune system can’t handle. TFM.
Not making it to the actual football game. TFM.
Making a deal with your foreign roommate that he can hang his national flag as long as it’s significantly smaller than your American flag. TFM.
Appointing yourself Chairman of the Freshmen Welcome Committee. TFM.
Pledge-Ubering to class. TFM.
First one in my family not to attend an Ivy League school, also the first one in my family to have a threesome. TFM.
Going to put a koozie in your pocket and finding a koozie. TFM.