Commandeering the DJ booth with zero knowledge of what you’re about to do. TFM.
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Greeting a group of GDIs at the door and telling them the party has been canceled, while a banger is clearly going on behind you. TFM.
Handing in a test with “I’m getting a tutor” written across the top. TFM.
Guiding your mistake out of the house in the morning with the stealth-like efficiency of a CIA spy. TFM.
Telling cashiers to put it on your tab despite that clearly not being a viable payment option. TFM.
Kenny Powers telling his gym class he could stand to lose four, maybe five pounds to get back into game shape. TFM.
Your bedroom performance being so minimal that she has to legitimately check to see if you’re still awake. TFM.
Using “the military does it” when your aggressive hazing practices are called into question. TFM.
Alluding to the new attendance policy when your professor calls on you by only answering with “You know why I’m here.” TFM.
Having people you don’t even know tell you how your drinking has hurt them at your annual surprise intervention. TFM.
Doing everything you can to get her into your bed, then doing the bare minimum while actually there. TFM.
Your idea of “good, clean fun” widely differing from what is socially accepted as actual good, clean fun. TFM.
Making sure everyone knows it was a mutual decision after getting thrown out of the bar. TFM.
Bringing a whistle and calling your own fouls in IM basketball. TFM.
Referring to last night’s sexual encounter as being in a 4G inverted dive with a MiG 28. TFM.
Taking a snow day to show solidarity with the north, enough though it’s 70 and sunny in Texas. TFM.
Telling exec that you’re only there so you don’t get fined. TFM.
Being both the most hated and most valuable member in your project group. TFM.
Kenny Powers telling his gym class he could stand to lose four, maybe five pounds to get back into game condition. TFM.
Self promoting yourself to captain of any house event. TFM.