My dad is the guy in the newest Viagra commercial. TFM.
We have the beach; you have a corn field. We go to Vegas for the weekend; you go to your mountain shanties. We have perfect weather year round; you have rain, snow, and humidity. PAC 10 > SEC and ACC. Our women are the finest in the world. Oh yeah, Nixon AND Reagan. TFM.
Belonging to the half of the country that is still undefeated in war. TFM.
Going to an SEC school was unthinkable because I really did come from old money. I wear boat shoes because I really do own a boat with sailing privileges beyond the Chattahoochee River. My slampieces are not related to me. While southern fratstars grew up learning how to “live off the land,” I grew up with class and sophistication because I know that, just as my ancestors hazed the fuck out of the south in the years 1861-65, I can do the same. New England. TFM.
Going to Harvard instead of an SEC school because my family actually does have old money, oh, and I also got above a 20 on the ACT. TFM.
I do not have a trust fund, I am not related to W, and I currently drive a Camry as punishment for wrecking the Frathoe. Despite this, I still frat really, really hard. TFM.
Old money grew up in New England, went to boarding school at Exeter, vacations in Nantucket, goes to school at Harvard, and never crosses below the Mason-Dixon line. Northern legacy. TFM.
If my son is gay, he’ll be the man in the relationship. TFM.
Keeping your headphones in but turning the volume off when Call Me Maybe comes on through the gym speakers. TFM.
Going out on top after building the world’s largest company. Steve Jobs. TFM.
Sigma Chi Drew Brees becoming the NFL’s all time single season passing leader. TFM.
The North vs South debate is getting old. We all frat hard and we’re all superior to geeds. TFM.
If you bought it at the Brooks Brothers Outlet, the tag might as well say Old Navy. TFM.
So apparently 49/50 states are in a long, drawn out, dick measuring contest over whose area is better. Won’t matter for long though, soon enough we’ll break off from the coast, send all the liberals to Oregon, and change our name from “California” to “Frat Island.” TFM.
Me > you. TFM.
Texas A&M wanting to move to the SEC. TFM.
Being in a frat in the north. It’s like being in a frat in the south, except no one applies for jobs in the oil industry because they are for white trash. TFM
The South may rise again but the North never fell. TFM.
You may all go to hell, and we will go to the SEC. TFM.
Wasn’t born into old money and I’m the first fratter in the family. But my 4.0 and acceptance to med school tells me the old money starts here. TFM.