News

Celtics 1st Round Pick Commits Multiple Offensive Violations Just To Dunk On Fat Child, Will Be A BUST

Screen Shot 2016-06-29 at 5.30.10 PM

I’m here to proclaim Boston Celtics 2016 1st round draft pick, Jaylen Brown, to be an enormous BUST. Now, he hasn’t played a minute at the TD Garden, and, I’ll admit, I didn’t watch a single Cal basketball game last year or even know of Jaylen Brown’s existence until last Thursday. But I did break down the tape of him going one-on-one with what appears to be the fat kid from Up, and I hate what I saw.

1

First off, that’s an offensive foul. Clear as day. Jaylen can’t shake this chubster’s gravitational pull, so he pushes off. It’s going the other way every time. If that’s not bad enough, Brown then carries the ball throughout and takes no less than two-hundred steps before throwing it down. I know they’re pretty lax in the NBA when it comes to traveling, but that was an embarrassment to the game.

Finally, Jaylen’s not mentally tough. This interaction started because that exercise ball of a child was just dropping truth bombs down on Brown about my boy Ben Simmons being a superior player.

From Mass Live:

“He challenged me and I just blacked out. He said, ‘You ain’t good.’ He said Ben Simmons (the No. 1 overall draft pick) is better. So I said alright, OK.”

And then Brown crossed the kid over, dribbled by him and slammed home an easy one-handed slam.

If some 4-foot Hispanic cream puff at a children’s summer camp can get in the head of Brown, just imagine what’ll happen when he gets to the actual league.

My draft analysis: BUST.

After a disappointing run with the Celtics, he’ll go overseas for a few years before ultimately working his way to an assistant management position at Foot Locker and slinging the new Ben Simmons. #TrustTheProcess

[via Mass Live]

Image via Youtube

Email this to a friend

Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

11 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More