Chocolate Company Will Make Your Girlfriend’s Asshole Into An Edible Treat

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Chocolate Company Will Mold Your Girlfriend's Asshole For You

A British chocolate company is taking ass-eating to a whole new level. Edible Anus has been whipping up asshole-shaped chocolate since 2006, and it’s about damn time for the company to get some love. It’s a damn travesty we are just now finding out about it.

It all started when British artist Magnus Irvin decided to mold his anus one day. It didn’t go so well when he did it by himself, and the cheeky Brit explained this failure to someone who was riding the same bus as him. Despite the absurdity of the conversation, the woman he talked to was willing to let him cast her anus. All the chocolates are based on this ass. There are three flavors of chocolate to choose from: meek milk, dilated dark, and tight white Belgian. I’m more of a tight white Belgian kind of guy, but to each his own. Five boxes of the chocolate wonders come in for the low price of $38.95, not including shipping. They also offer shirts, cards (including the “Sexy Lady Poo Card”) and even mouse pads. Unfortunately, the website makes no mention of being able to cast your own b-hole into chocolate, but don’t let that get you down — there’s an alternative.

They’ll bronze it.

solid-bronze-anus

The website explains, “We are expanding our services to offer bespoke anus castings, set as an individual bronze artwork for your loved ones.” Just what my significant other would want! You’ll likely have to go to the UK to make it happen, but it sounds like it’s worth it for a mere $1,900. It looks like quite the experience. Plus, you can flaunt around a bronze mold of your asshole. That’s got to give you an empowering feeling. Alternative model Rayna Terror had it done, so why can’t you? The following video shows the process she went through. It also includes Magnus explaining his story and what it was like trying to mold his own hole, as well as the problems you run into while molding assholes and the dream anus he’d like to mold.

“I poured the stuff in me bum and it all ran past me nuts and into my face.”

I can think of worse things to happen to someone, but that sounds pretty miserable.

It may be a little late in the game to get the chocolates for this year’s Valentine’s Day, but don’t get behind on planning ahead for next year. Go book that trip to the UK and tell us how it is getting goo poured into your or your girlfriend’s ass by an eccentric British man.

[via Edible Anus]

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