Clemson Greek Life Assistant Caught Stealing Panhellenic Funds

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From Clemson University Media Relations:

Eli A. Ker, 29, of Easley, was charged with breach of trust with fraudulent intent, value $10,000 or more. The arrest results from a State Law Enforcement Division (SLED) and Clemson University investigation that began last month after a university employee noticed irregularities in a bank statement and contacted the Clemson University Police Department, which notified SLED.

Ker was associate director for fraternity and sorority life at Clemson University from Jan. 2006 to Sept. 10, 2012. In his position, he had access the Panhellenic recruitment bank account. Between Aug. 29, 2011 and Aug. 29, 2012, he allegedly converted approximately $33,820 to his personal use, according to an arrest warrant issued today. The warrant also alleges he created false bank statements.

Ker appeared in Clemson University Municipal Court today and was released on a personal recognizance bond of $10,000.

Stealing from innocent sorority girls? How dare you sir. The sororities actually use their funds for legitimate things! At least have the decency to steal from IFC. Plus they might not have noticed…ever.

Also stealing what is probably the equivalent of your salary within a year’s time is pretty noticeable. Don’t you know how to steal from work? It’s not that hard. I do it all the time. You just have to be subtle. I take some Rowdy Gent gear here, a couple boxes of office snacks there, and I always drop a deuce at work too because I consider that stealing their time. I’m actually just kidding. The Rowdy Gent gear is free, and while I probably eat about a box of Cheez-Its a day, I leave them at work. I definitely do crap at work though, but admittedly that’s more a product of me adjusting my BM schedule to waste time at my old, boring as fuck marketing job, where I needed any excuse to get out of the office. Yeah, that’s right, taking a crap was often the highlight of my day. Yes John Mayer, there is such a thing as the “real world,” and that’s it.

Anyway, it would seem that Mr. Ker is in some hot water. I’m assuming there’s a lot of evidence against him, quite the paper trail probably. Sorority girls, after all, take excellent notes.

[h/t to reader Taylor Jackson (@htjack93)]

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  1. Year Around Frat

    Ironically, I typed my last statement before his second statement was posted. Unfortunately, fratmydickbitch is no longer an American Hero.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    -1