The 2014 Philadelphia Phillies resemble the 2013 Philadelphia Phillies: one old, stale fart of a squad. The team has made countless bad trades, re-signed players past their prime, and have completely decimated their farm system. All this has left the team with much of its core from the 2008 World Series Championship unit an empty shell of itself.
With the trade deadline approaching, the Phillies are positively looking to blow up the team and start fresh, but much like putting a chick in charge of the music of your party, you can bank on Reuben Amaro to royally fuck up everything.
One of the biggest assets Philadelphia has is former Cy Young winner, Cliff Lee, who returned to the mound last night after a two month stint on the disabled list.
Lee put up a rather typical 2014 Phillies performance against the San Francisco Giants, giving up six runs on a career high 12 hits in five and two-thirds innings.
Afterward, Lee answered questions about his future and let out a rather prophetic statement.
I love how Cliff looks both ways before letting out that stink bomb.
That wet, nasty, loud fart couldn’t describe the Philadelphia fans’ expectations more perfectly.
If other teams think Lee can recapture even a phantom of his previous form, he may fetch a quality return. But he’s owed $9.5 million this year, $25 million next year, and a $27.5 million vesting option for 2016 that’ll cost clubs $12.5 million to buy him out. That’s an awful lot of money for a guy turning 36 next month, and who just missed two months with an elbow injury.
The Phillies are one big, irritable bowel mess, and Reuben Amaro is feeding them chili.
Image via Comcast Sportsnet