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What Do Y’all Think Of This College Professor’s “Wise” Advice For His Students?

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College professors are trained PowerPoint/chalkboard monkeys whose sole purpose in life is to babysit college students while they surf the internet then, 4 months later, give them a letter grade they can lie to their parents about — and nothing more.

Every so often, however, they overstep their bounds and try to make lasting impacts on students’ lives. Sickening. Check out this one professor’s attempt at getting his students to keep their priorities in check.

Screen Shot 2017-02-28 at 12.09.15 PM

via Reddit

While Redditor /u/FillCollinz came up with the best possible strategy if you were to take this professor’s advice –“Party 07:59:59, study 8:00:00, sleep 8:00:01” — the boat I’m in is the one that has nothing to do with Teach’s well-meaning advice for college student life scheduling.

This professor’s “work hard, play hard” mentality is simply outdated. Maybe back in his day it was considered “cool” to get drunk and get good grades and be well-rested, but that reputation doesn’t fly these days. If I hear that you got an A on a test, I instantly think you’re a humongous nerd, and if you don’t have very pronounced bags under your eyes at all times from lack of sleep, I automatically assume you’re a virgin. Only virgins spend their lives sleeping instead of fucking. Stupid, smart, 8-hours-of-sleep lookin’ ass bitchmade virgins.

I’ve compiled a more realistic 3-step process to getting the most out of college. It worked for me, and it can work for you, too!

1. Party until you fall asleep.
2. Study after you wake up (right before your exam).
3. Repeat step 1 to forget about the fact that you should’ve studied more.

Results not guaranteed.

[via Reddit]

Image via Shutterstock

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a writer and content manager for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin. He has been called the "Patron Saint of Butt Stuff" despite never having engaged in sexual activity of any nature until he turned 21, which he is still convinced is the minimum age at which you can legally have sex.

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