Notice the link down below will take you to a real article. This is not satire, folks. While we’ve been joking about babies in their safe spaces needing ball pits, colleges across America have actually been building them for students as a place to make friends and share their feelings. In fact, some have been holding ball pit events for years now.
From The College Fix:
Colleges across the nation are erecting ball pits to help students find an emotional safe space on campus to make friends or express themselves.
More than a half dozen campuses have set up the colorful play pits over the last year alone, Heat Street reports.
But a mere ball pit isn’t enough for campus Social Crusaders. Hell no. They need to find a way to make the event as preachy and “woke” as possible. That’s why the ball pits are often being utilized as safe spaces to shine light on social issues and inclusivity. One school even wrote thought-provoking questions on balloons and hid them in the ball pit to encourage a dialogue among the students. I don’t know for sure what kind of questions were scribbled on the balls, but I assume they said things like, “Why do privileged white males allow the wage gap to exist?” and, “Why do privileged white males have to sit with their legs so wide open?”
In 2014 at Brandeis University, for example, its “Take a Seat, Break Down Barriers” effort boasted a ball pit filled with balloons. “Questions taped to balloons in the pit sparked conversations about social justice and helped to break down barriers and build understanding,” the university’s website states.
I dunno, man. Maybe I need to lighten up. Maybe my repulsion to the ball pits is a reflection of my personal feelings of insecurity — my fragile masculinity, as they say. After all, they’re not hurting or disrespecting anyone. You know what? Jumping into a ball pit kinda looks like fun. And I guess I could learn a thing or two about being sensitive towards others. Let’s give this the ol’ college try.
*Gets in car and drives to nearest campus ball pit*
Me: Excuse me ma’am, y’all got room for one more in there?
Her: Bitch did you just assume my gender???
Fuck it, I tried..
[via The College Fix]
Image via YouTube