Is cuddle rape a thing? It is in Columbia, MO apparently.
Columbia police say a man who got into bed with a sleeping woman might be responsible for two similar incidents last month.
Police say a woman called police early Thursday to report a man came into her apartment while she was asleep and got into bed with her.
After he rolled on top of her, she woke up and saw him leaving the apartment.
Loneliness can drive a man to do crazy things, I guess. Either that or he’s just a creepy foreigner.
The woman described the man as about 5 feet, 7 inches tall with a thin build and short brown hair. He had a light complexion and is possibly of Middle Eastern descent. The woman said the man had a thick accent.
The Columbia Daily Tribune reports police say a man of similar description got into bed with two other women in July.
Yup, creepy foreigner. Somebody should ambush this guy. Apparently, he’s not very big. Use some dime sorority girl as bait, have her walk around until he catches a glimpse, then let him trail her. Eventually have her go back to her “house” and “get in bed.” In reality, it’ll be some fraternity guys’ house on East Campus and you’ll have pulled the old switcharoo, replacing the hot girl with an angry dude in a wig who’s 95% under the covers. Once the creepy little foreign guy hops in bed, BOOM, citizen’s arrest, and possibly a citizen’s beatdown, depending on how much this guy tries to rub his wiener on the mark. It’s what Todd Storm would do. Well, Todd Storm would probably get a sex change to take down this perp. He’s pretty hardcore when it comes to the law.
[via The Kansas City Star]