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11 Ways to Photoshop a Vagina Out of a Picture
When we received this picture this morning I was told to Photoshop out the young sorority woman’s private parts so that we could put the picture up on the website. I did as I was told, cropped our trademark sailboat, and went about my business. But then I got to thinking, there HAD to be...
- Nice Move 30
- Comments 19
- Missouri
Summer Break, the Prolonged Weekend
As another semester of this four year-party we call “college” wraps up, it’s time to kick back, relax, and welcome the paradise known as summer. Summer is life’s way of rewarding you for the minimal effort you put into achieving mediocre grades this past year. It’s a break from the everyday drudgery of waking up...
- Nice Move 16
- Comments 8
- Florida
5 People I’d Like to Punch in the Face
We all have those people in our lives who we’d just like to punch in the face for one reason or another, and with zero repercussions – no legal trouble, no retaliation. Nothing. Without further ado, here are the first five that come to mind: Bill Maher Bill Maher basically represents everything I don’t. He’s...
- Nice Move 50
- Comments 99
- Texas
5 Types of Blackout Drunks
Most college students have gotten blackout drunk before. The night starts with a few beers at the apartment, progresses with a few shots before heading to the bars, and sometime between the 11th whiskey ginger and screaming “WAGON WHEEL” at the douchebag who keeps blaring thrash metal on the jukebox, everything goes…well…black. However, what the...
- Nice Move 104
- Comments 44
- Florida
Honor Your Graduation
So it is graduation time, good for you. I have to be honest, graduation scared the hell out of me when my time was approaching. I was thinking back to those days and thought “what would I tell myself ten years later?” “What advice would I share?” Those questions really got me thinking. So here’s...
- Nice Move 132
- Comments 26
- Tennessee
Don’t Take Your Subleasing Decisions Lightly
Spending the summer in your college town is fun. Even if you decide to take summer classes (which you totally should because they’re way easier and the professors barely give a shit) most of your time will be spent doing fun things. Your days will be filled with drinking and your nights… well, also drinking....
- Nice Move 121
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- Missouri
Eli Manning Hosting Saturday Night Live
Opening Monologue Motion Capture Text Message Evidence Little Brothers Herb Welch: Occupy Movement What Is This? TCM Comedy: Cheech and Chong
- Nice Move 37
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- Texas
30 Things I Learned While Pledging
1. Hearing the same song over and over again is the best way to drive someone insane. 2. Being cocky will get you some places in life, but it will never make you a Brother. 3. I’ll never be able to comfortably wear a white t-shirt and khaki shorts again, repressed memories. 4. Your pledge...
- Nice Move 332
- Comments 68
- Florida
How to Raise a Rage Baby
It seems like everyday I hear about another one of my dumb slut high school girlfriends who had a baby. When these hookers get pregnant I never really know if I should congratulate them or offer my sincerest apologies. When the baby is a terrible mistake, most people’s first reaction is “Aww, that sucks for...
- Nice Move 194
- Comments 55
- Florida
From My Mother
My father handed me my first beer and told me “don’t tell your mother.” He taught me how to throw a ball, and shoot a gun. He gave me half the clothes in my closet and taught me how to tie a tie. I know that the only time it is acceptable to wear cargo...
- Nice Move 845
- Comments 147
- Texas
FAIL FRIDAY: Adderall Withdrawals
Ten real submissions, ten photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty. My mom said she doesn’t like me dipping so I held her down and forced an entire tin into her mouth. TFM.–Pennsylvania Happy Mother’s Day! Going to prom after you graduate, and rushing balls instead...
- Nice Move 42
- Comments 159
- Anonymous
The Frat Romance Novel, Part V: A Day of Rage and Passion
When the sun broke over the hills, bringing another serene Texas morning, Charlotte rose with it. She looked out her window at the new day with great anticipation. Her loins tingled with excitement as she thought of what the day may bring. This day was not like the others. For weeks Charlotte had looked forward...
- Nice Move 163
- Comments 85
- Missouri
Top 10 Hairstyles in Sports History
10. Randy Johnson Randy Johnson rocked your basic power mullet, and he did it well beyond the acceptable time period (if it ever was acceptable). It was short and conservative up front, yet long and stringy on the back. Johnson would also appear on a “10 Ugliest Athletes in Sports” list, and that’s largely due...
- Nice Move 79
- Comments 112
- Texas
50 Ways To Stay Frat This Summer
1. Float trip. 2. Make your little brother your own personal pledge. 3. Get kicked out of a hometown bar by a former high school classmate. 4. Road trip to a city you’ve never been, drink to excess, make that city wish you never came. 5. Catch up on old Clint Eastwood and John Wayne...
- Nice Move 154
- Comments 149
- Missouri
50 Things I Learned in College
1. There is always an excuse to get drunk. 2. Biting a stripper’s nipple is frowned upon. 3. Sometimes you just have to puke and rally. 4. You can’t get into an Obama rally wearing camo and McCain/Palin “Drill Baby Drill” t-shirts. 5. If everyone hates the girl you’re talking to, it’s time to re-evaluate...
- Nice Move 948
- Comments 88
- Florida
Chinese Kids Think Your Finals are for Pussies
Are you sitting in a library right now? Have you been there for a long time? Has your diet been a steady dosage of Adderall, caffeine, and nicotine? Have all your human interactions gone something like this? Random Person: Is anyone sitting there? You: GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!!!! Random Person: Jesus, sorry. (*Starts...
- Nice Move 94
- Comments 98
- Missouri
GDI Steals Countless Panties from Dorm Laundry Room
I think I just found the exact opposite of Danny Ocean, and it’s a 19-year-old GDI panty thief from the University of Missouri (Ed. Note: Goddammit). A freshman was arrested in Hatch residence hall after dozens of pairs of stolen women’s underwear were found in his room. Kevin Waida, 19, was arrested on charges of...
- Nice Move 110
- Comments 77
- Missouri
The Champ on Wedding Season
It’s May, the primetime of wedding season is here. For postgrads it’s the best time of year. That’s right, watching some poor schlub get hitched up to his high school sweetheart makes for a great weekend. You know the girl, the one that made him come home that one Thursday night and the pledge trainer...
- Nice Move 117
- Comments 37
- Missouri
Florida Geeds Create “Online Fraternity”
Apparently a GDI from the Florida Institute of Technology decided to create a fraternity… online. Theta Omega Gamma currently has 24 co-ed members who use the hub to socialize and coordinate service projects. Battle told Inside Higher Ed that he created the frat simply because nothing else like it existed. Just to clarify, saying you’re...
- Nice Move 81
- Comments 102
- Missouri
Adolf Hitler Farted A Lot, Was Filled With Bull Jizz
Adolf Hitler’s medical records are now up for auction at the Alexander Historical Auctions of Stamford, Connecticut. According to a report from Discovery News, the records contain some interesting revelations about history’s most famous failed artist/hipster (that’s right, Hitler was a hipster, NEVER FORGET). Adolf Hitler farted uncontrollably, used cocaine to clear his sinuses, ingested...
- Nice Move 94
- Comments 59
- Missouri
Interview With The Pro Letarians
After a few short months of college while their freshmen peers still had difficulty locating a dining hall, J.O. and Jupiter Jim two Indiana students living just doors apart were making song after song, pumping out two mixtapes in a short seven months. Their newest release, Hello Forever truly showcases the talents these up and...
- Nice Move 24
- Comments Disabled
- Florida
New Zealand College Kids Invent Best/Worst Drinking Game Ever
Before I read this story all that really ever came to mind when I thought about New Zealand was “The Lord of the Rings” and a very racist dragon (who no doubt chose the name for New Zealand’s national soccer team). To be honest I didn’t think New Zealanders had any redeeming qualities at all,...
- Nice Move 247
- Comments 76
- Missouri
FAIL FRIDAY: Adult Diapers
Ten real submissions, ten photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty. Found out my dad invested in American eagle so I slashed his tires and spray painted “TFM” on the hood of his car. TFM.–Idaho You hear that dad? Invest in a company that isn’t TFM...
- Nice Move 40
- Comments 187
- Anonymous
Top 10 Frattest MLB Players
10. Mickey Mantle Mickey Mantle kicks off this list for being perhaps the highest functioning alcoholic this country has ever seen. While playing drunk, Mickey amassed the following throughout his career: 536 homeruns as a switch hitter, 3 league MVPs, and 7 World Series rings. And he played a great centerfield for the Yankees. The...
- Nice Move 196
- Comments 99
- Texas
The End of Internet Privacy
There is a new threat to privacy on the Internet. It’s called CIPSA and it completely sucks balls. If you haven’t already heard about it, CIPSA stands for Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act. It will give the military broad new powers to spy on the civilian Internet and share information about you with corporations...
- Nice Move 93
- Comments 84
- Florida
Greek Twitter
Brothers, I have noticed an interesting trend. Members of our community have recently taken to Twitter in droves. Which is fine. I love Twitter. It gives me the ability to put out my controversial thoughts in quick fashion with no chance of consequences. But Twitter is no longer a source for those who love one-liners...
- Nice Move 92
- Comments 73
- Texas
A Timeline of the Night Before My Last Final
5:00 PM Text 3 different adderall dealers to ensure productivity. Unwrap recently purchased textbook and beer. 5:03 PM Close textbook and admit temporary defeat. Chug beer and head to study room. 5:05-5:30 PM Get distracted en route to study room, play quick game of Madden. Lose by 25 to the Dolphins. 5:30-5:35 PM Scan test...
- Nice Move 414
- Comments 89
- Florida
The Unofficial Presidential Stance on Fucking With the Rival House
As President, you should be levelheaded and PR-minded 24/7. You know, unless it involves those try-hard fucks across the street. Publicly, you always encourage your members (at chapter and the like) to NOT fuck with your rival house, or “RivalHouse.” But some members are smart. They know the chapter meeting is nothing more than a...
- Nice Move 51
- Comments 36
- Anonymous
Bottom Tier Problems
“Dude I took down a whole case by myself last night… and no girls helped!” “I would have had a date for formal…but all the girls I asked had date functions that weekend. Chalk it up to poor planning I guess…” “We don’t like having girls at rush because we think it takes away from...
- Nice Move 127
- Comments 144
- Florida
