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The Underage Bar
When I was 18, 19, 20-years-old I had a fake ID, just like everyone else. It was not a good fake ID. In fact, it was a laughable piece of shit. If someone accepted this fake ID chances are they either A) Didn’t care about their job, B) Were legally blind, or C) Couldn’t tell...
- Nice Move 14
- Comments 18
- Missouri
Typical Fraternity/Sorority Text Interaction
After having met in a bar not too long ago (an adventure which you can read about here), the following is a scenario in which a fraternity gentleman invites a sorority lady to his upcoming date function via text. Their thoughts are in italics, and the conversation is in plain text. Him: “hey Amber” Her:...
- Nice Move 143
- Comments 74
- Anonymous
Spring Training: Nice Move
It’s here. Baseball is right around the corner and before you know it, you’ll be in dad’s box seats on the first base side with a tall, cool Bud heavy in your hand and a wad of Grizz between your gum and cheek, watching the boys of summer. But before any of that can happen,...
- Nice Move 145
- Comments 109
- Missouri
Your (God Damn) Independent Student Newspaper
If there’s one thing that goes hand in hand with Student Government elections every year, it’s a massive horde of GDIs rushing the polls hoping to take the dominant Greeks out of power. And behind these skinny-jean wearing bongo playing geeds is none other than the campus student newspaper, supporting their idiotic claims. A little...
- Nice Move 273
- Comments 105
- Florida
The Perfect Bar
It’s 21 and up, but you’ve been getting in effortlessly since your freshman year. Weekly happy hour excursions aren’t an option, they’re expected. The only thing stronger than the drinks is the urge to sing “Piano Man” at the top of your lungs when it reaches the top of the jukebox playlist. You know what...
- Nice Move 106
- Comments 140
- Florida
Absurd Advice from a Pirate
There is a lot of advice being solicited out there. In the end, everybody is pretty much full of shit, especially that mustachioed cockgoblin Dr. Phil. We put a lot of faith into “expert” answers. However, an expert is simply someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know absolutely everything...
- Nice Move 40
- Comments 90
- Florida
Mardi Gras Briefing: For the First Time Evangelical Activist
Brothers and Sisters, First let me congratulate you on your brave decision to help spread the word of the Lord among the sinners who will be running rampant throughout New Orleans for the coming week in “honor” of Mardi Gras. I want to wish you the best of luck, and I have Faith in each...
- Nice Move 80
- Comments 50
- Missouri
FAIL Column: A Day In The Life Of Oprah Is A Dyke
I present to you the worst column submission we could find this week. There’s no way to protect the innocent on this one. We present to you, unedited, OprahisaDyke’s infamous column. One epic piece of incoherent, rambling, fail worthy insanity. I wake up every god damn morning just like all of you fuckers. Usually by...
- Nice Move 211
- Comments 142
- North Carolina
The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story
Introduction You’re not sure how it happened, but your chapter’s New Orleans Formal is just a few days away, and all of your date options have literally blown up in your face. Rebecca has a test on a Monday, Jill has her sorority Mom-Daughter weekend that she can’t skip. Even Sara, your “at-least-I’ll-get-laid” last resort...
- Nice Move 163
- Comments 55
- Florida
FAIL FRIDAY: Watching “The Vow”
Ten real submissions, five photos, and a few videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty. I pump and dumped this freshman piece during my last year at IU. Her name was Kate Upton. Whoops. TFM.–Indiana You lying, blaspheming son of a bitch. You aren’t even worthy of typing her...
- Nice Move 38
- Comments 116
- Anonymous
The 10 Frattest Sports Movie Characters
Every penis-wielding son of a bitch in our great nation appreciates when sports and American cinema are combined. Classic movies like “The Natural,” “Hoosiers” and “The Sandlot” strike emotionally down in the deepest parts of our loins, and iconic scenes from these timeless flicks make our bollocks tingle. Today we’ll examine the character traits of...
- Nice Move 116
- Comments 155
- Texas
Ask The Intern: Return of the Mack
Welcome back to “Ask The Intern.” I have pooled questions of an unrestricted nature from people who follow me (@TFMintern) on twitter. Inquiries can also be emailed to [email protected] These are my answers to the questions I felt merited a response. “If your bro was cheating on a hot girl that you were interested in...
- Nice Move 83
- Comments 103
- Anonymous
A @GSElevator Valentine’s Day….
I come to, my head fucking pounding; I’m still drunk, but at least I’m in my bed. A bed. That’s a relief. How I got there, I have no clue. It’s probably something like 6:00 in the morning. I’ve got no idea why or how I wake up so early, especially since my first meeting...
- Nice Move 176
- Comments 38
- New York
Total Frat Spring Break Destinations Part 1
Mid-February can only mean one thing. I’m not talking about the inevitable exams, or that bullshit greeting card holiday on the 14th. While some people give these trivial matters underserved attention, we as fraternity gentlemen are far more focused on the future. Spring Break Shitshow 2012 is only a few short weeks away. Hopefully you’ve...
- Nice Move 41
- Comments 140
- Anonymous
Resume “Building”
There comes a time when you have to leave reckless abandon and the glory of your undergraduate years behind, and enter the real world. But if you play your cards right, you should be able to construct a resume that can make you look even more qualified than you actually are. I’m not just talking...
- Nice Move 91
- Comments 46
- Arkansas
