The Greatest Movie Scene Of All Time
Today is Throwback Thursday, and this is the greatest movie scene of all time: Let’s break this down… Colleen, a hot babe, is jogging down the beach with a dude wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a blue banana-hammock speedo. He is carrying a frisbee and rocking a satchel. They stop when they come across an...
What Fraternity Guys Say vs. What They Actually Mean
“I’m taking it easy tonight, I’ve got shit to do tomorrow.” I’m going to spend the first hour of my night drinking beer casually, until an attractive girl I know asks for shots. I will then become the most charming, handsome, confident, and intoxicated brother in the room over a span of 38 minutes. A...
Real Fraternity Tales: Rush Week
Rush Week is undoubtedly one of the wildest times a young man will ever go through. Before shit gets real you’re treated like a king. You can bounce around to parties, you’re welcome pretty much everywhere, and you can do whatever the fuck you want. I remember during my Rush Week I was stripped down...
How To Write About Fraternities in the News Without Really Trying, Part 1
Mention the Film Animal House It doesn’t matter whether or not it has anything to do with anything. If you can mention the movie Animal House, especially in the title of your story/column about a fraternity, you’re golden. Not only will it draw in readers, but the comparison will also help inform the readers who...
5 Reasons College Football is Superior to the NFL
1. Fans Don’t Wear Jerseys This isn’t entirely true, because fans of some schools tend to wear jerseys more than others, but when looking at college football as a whole versus the NFL, there are far more jersey-wearers in NFL stadiums. Wearing a jersey to a football games is a terrible trend typically reserved for...
Costa Del Mar Sets Out to Protect Guyana Through Sport Fishing
A mission of Costa Del Mar is “to protect the world’s waters by promoting sport fishing.” In no area of the world is this effort more apparent than the impoverished South American nation of Guyana. The primarily English speaking former British colony has for years been attempting to boost tourism as a way to stimulate...
40 More Things Sorority Girls Should Know About Fraternity Guys
1. Sometimes we go to the bar to hit on girls. Most of the time we go to the bars to drink until we can’t feel our thumbs. Learn to tell the difference. 2. We don’t understand why there are still girls in college not embracing the wonders of modern birth control technology. 3. We...
Memorial Day For The Right Reasons
Memorial Day is one of the most patriotic days of the year. All across America, people celebrate it by coming together and getting as wasted as possible. It’s a day when you can wander around screaming “America, Fuck Yeah!” and everyone will cheer for you. Every day should be like Memorial Day, but sadly it’s...
FAIL FRIDAY: Abusing The Elderly
Ten real submissions, ten photos, and three videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty. Double-teaming the “help” with my dad while we are both wearing matching bow ties and making the pledges video it while doing bows ‘n toes. Then reporting the “help” to immigration for not getting us...
Things That Will Probably Happen in Your Closed Fraternity House This Summer
The fraternity house may be closed, but that doesn’t mean people don’t have access to it.
College Football State of the Union
College football is a hair over three strenuous months away. We have no choice but endure these dog days of football-less summer. The next best thing to watching it, however, is discussing it. In that respect, the summer of 2012 has blessed us. First, let’s rewind two years ago. In the summer of 2010, college...
Memorial Day Weekend at Hedonism II
This week’s Throwback Thursday comes from Hedonism II in Jamaica. Keep it in mind when you think you’re partying at a level appropriate for Memorial Day Weekend. Remember, this guy is out there somewhere and he’s probably going harder than you. As my buddy Aaron says, “The crab-walk-pussy-fingers is not a move that is pulled...
Famous Bitches in History: Adolf Hitler
Gather ‘round children. I’m drunk as piss and it’s time to tell some campfire stories around the keg. Don’t believe any of that liberal bullshit that you learned in school from your communist professors. I’m here to tell you the truth as it is, with no censor other than alcohol. No need to get bogged...
High School Fratstar’s Semester Wrapup: The Final Countdown
In case you missed the first segment in the High School Fratstar saga, check it out here It’s been a long semester full of Bud Light slim can shotgunning, college town touring and general High School Frat insanity, but I’m back mother fruckers ready to give a report from my final semester living the THSFM...
The Cons of Cougar Hunting
You notice her out of the corner of your eye as you guzzle down your 14th whiskey ginger. You immediately perform a double take, confused as to why a woman over 30 would spend her precious middle aged time at your favorite college town bar. Then it hits you. My friend, you have stumbled upon...
Don’t Bash My Home
With the 2012 presidential election coming up, there has been an incredible amount of mudslinging from both sides of the American political spectrum. The Democrats have been coming up with clever ways to label forcing a redistribution of wealth, and have an unorganized and currently irrelevant occupy movement that has yet to inspire anyone to...
America: Big Swinging Dick of the World, Part 4
America is the greatest country on Earth for many reasons. Democracy, freedom, Fun Dip, The Super Bowl, etc, and inventing the word etcetera (and the subsequent abbreviation) so that you don’t have keep listing things when you don’t fucking feel like it. Boom. Advantage America. But ultimately our greatness comes down to the fact that...
FAIL FRIDAY: Sex With Sandwiches
Ten real submissions, ten photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty. GDI in front of me in line was taking too long to order so I offered to pay for him, invited him to sit with me, and got to know him. I then preceded to...
5 People I’d Allow to Punch Me in the Face
Whether it’s not paying dues on time or starting fights at the bar that other people have to fight for me, I’ve done a lot of things that warrant a nice left hook to the face. If this ever happens, which may not since I’m shitty and somehow get out of bad situations, then I’d...
12* Ways to Photoshop a Vagina Out of a Picture
When we received this picture this morning I was told to Photoshop out the young sorority woman’s private parts so that we could put the picture up on the website. I did as I was told, cropped our trademark sailboat, and went about my business. But then I got to thinking, there HAD to be...
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