Total Frat Meals: Summer Meal Plan
The middle of summer marks a period where college students catch the ever-contagious fitness bug and flock to gyms and supplement warehouses in order to fork over their hard borrowed parental cash for strange non-FDA regulated miracle powders in hopes of attaining the perfect beach body. Unfortunately for them, they totally forget about the fact...
Sorry You’re Ugly
Once again, we are back to the angry rage, folks. Sorry, but it’s been too long and a lot has really been pissing me off. This week it’s women, and not just any women. I’m talking about the worst kind of women. The ones that go out on a fucking war path in the name...
Top TFM TV Characters: Part 2
TEXAS—For part 2 of the ever-important analytical breakdown of TFM TV characters we will consider the possibility that I may have left out some fratstars in part 1, and include characters from classic TV shows. For all of you that were hurt and/or offended by the omission of characters you felt deserved recognition, I sincerely apologize. This will be a longer, more thorough rundown. Enjoy it. Ari Gold- Entourage
Misguided Sorostitute Humor (Vid)
Please don't take this personally. First of all, my iPhone 12 has fucking phenomenal service, and if a pledge puked on it, I'd just buy another one. I don't give two shits what you wear to pledgeline. In fact, I'd prefer you didn't wear anything. At least you know your place on the futon...
Adventures in Being a Huge Drunk Asshole
I spent this past weekend in Chicago for a pledge brother’s bachelor party. It was, to put it mildly, a shitshow that would have made my parents cry and probably have killed lesser men. A lot of interesting things happened. There was my pledge brother’s post grad GDI friend who dropped cocaine on the floor...
Throwback Thursday: Frat Aliens (Vid)
Since this site wasn't live back when Frat Aliens aired, I figured it was time to pay some homage on the first Throwback Thursday. You have to appreciate Adult Swim for nailing some classic quotes, such as...
Frat Essentials: A Firm Grip
In my life, I have met many men who could be considered the cream of the crop. Now, this doesn’t mean they are the wealthiest or the best dressed; these things are unimportant at the end of the day. I’m talking about honest, hard-working individuals that know there is nothing more valuable than earning your...
A Breakdown Of Every Time You Play Wagon Wheel
Here in America, our amazing country’s massive borders allow for an incredibly diverse fraternity system. From sea to shining sea, brothers are embracing the fraternity lifestyle in ways they see fit, and while a West Coast fraternity experience may vastly differ from a Southern one, in the long run all that matters is that we’re...
Ron Paul: Sprinkle Some Freedom On It
Dr. Ron Paul’s 3rd presidential campaign is in high gear. The 76 year old libertarian from South Texas might be a Viagra and a strong coffee away from his death bed, but his passion for futile campaigns is unwavering. This might be Paul’s last hoorah. The perennial fringe candidate of choice has even resigned from...
50 Ways To Stay Frat This Summer
1. Float trip. 2. Make your little brother your own personal pledge. 3. Get kicked out of a hometown bar by a former high school classmate. 4. Road trip to a city you’ve never been, drink to excess, make that city wish you never came. 5. Catch up on old Clint Eastwood and John Wayne...
Aggressively Celebrating Christmas
Happy Holidays? Fuck that shit. Merry Christmas motherfuckers! Christmas is my favorite holiday of the year. Why? I don’t really know. Maybe it’s because I like presents. Maybe it’s because I love the atmosphere, or because the soundtrack to “A Charlie Brown Christmas” was playing in the background when I lost my virginity. Full disclosure,...
Mardi Gras Briefing: For the First Time Evangelical Activist
Brothers and Sisters, First let me congratulate you on your brave decision to help spread the word of the Lord among the sinners who will be running rampant throughout New Orleans for the coming week in “honor” of Mardi Gras. I want to wish you the best of luck, and I have Faith in each...
High School Frat Prospects
Note: The following characters are fictional. Clayton Hodge Height: 5’10” Weight: 190 lbs. High School: Beaumont Kelly – Beaumont, TX GPA: 2.9 Strengths: - dedicated alcoholic - can bong two beers in 5 seconds flat - father is successful lawyer - seasoned crawfish boiler - doesn’t believe in monogamy - smooth talker, regularly outkicks coverage...
Rush Boobs From This Week (26 Photos)
Since the dawn of the internet, fraternity members have been convincing girls to write “Rush (Insert Fraternity Here)” across their chests for promotional purposes. Over the past couple months there has been a massive resurgence in the world of rush boobs, and in the past few weeks, rush ass. Here are this week’s photos…
TFM Fantasy Baseball Contest From DraftKings.com
Our friends at DraftKings.com are holding yet ANOTHER special contest specifically for the TFM community…and this time you have the opportunity to submit two entries. It’s only $5 to enter, 1st and 2nd place will win tickets to the $150,000 contest on 4/12 (where 1st place gets $50,0000), and this is your last chance to...
The Night I Was Exposed To The Greatest Frat Playlist Ever
Joan Didion wrote in her elegiac memoir, The Year of Magical Thinking, “We are imperfect mortal beings, aware of that mortality, even as we push it away.” These are hard, true words, friends. You see, we are young, and we think the lines on our faces will come with a sense of accomplishment, a feeling...
Tempe12 Super Bowl Photos
The girls of Arizona State University suit up for the Super Bowl courtesy of Tempe12.com See the full photo shoot and more Arizona State girls here
6 Signs You Shouldn’t Join a Fraternity
1) You’re a Pussy Yes. If you’re a pussy, Greek Life most certainly is not for you. Look, I’m not trying to sound like an asshole, but if you’re really willing to subject yourself to 3-4 months of modern-day serfdom, you better have at least a decent sized set of gonads swinging between your legs....
Goofus & Gallant: Fraternity Edition
If you’ve spent any amount of time in a waiting room, you’ve probably stumbled across an old issue of Highlights For Kids. As a young buck, one of my favorite features in the magazine was “Goofus & Gallant,” a comic strip featuring two young men who were entangled in scenarios that required some type of...
How Fraternity/Sorority Date Functions Differ
One of the most entertaining collegiate events to attend is a date function. From concerts to drunk go-karts, there is always something to enjoy about splitting a bottle of booze with a date and getting rip-roaring drunk. Plan on having a good time if you are invited, but keep in mind there is one particular...
