Let’s start off with a quick programming note: Look, there was no Commenter of the Week last week. This is partially on me and partially on you. It’s because I didn’t hear back from our winner in time to post it. I did go with a backup option but his interview answers were so shitty that I decided not to run it. Quality control. I’m not going to hit you with a product I don’t feel comfortable putting my name on. There it is. That’s the truth.
I feel good about today’s COTW, however. He’s a Fifth Year, he claims U of H, he’s been a member of the site (under this username, anyway) since August of 2015, and he goes by SteveHoltOnDrugs.
You are, you idiot.
1. Where do/did you attend college?
University of Houston, Moores School of Music
2. Be honest, you enjoy Steve Holt as a writer, don’t you?
If you call pressing CTRL+C, CTRL+V writing, then yes, I enjoy Steve Holt as a writer. But if you take enough drugs, fucking through a screen door is enjoyable, too.
3. When was the last time you felt the warmth of a beautiful woman?
About 10 minutes ago. I am dating a fantastic woman who would lose all respect for me if she knew that I was a frequent TFM commenter. I’m able to hide it from her since, like most TFM commenters, I do my best work while on the toilet. I once mentioned applying for a Grandex internship, and she said, “OK, just don’t put it on your resume.”
4. Give me two truths and a lie about yourself.
My father is a well-known country musician who has been nominated for a Grammy. I appeared as an extra in Total Frat Movie. One of the previous statements is untrue.
5. What are your spring break plans?
Next Friday I will be departing for a week in India where I will visit Delhi and Dehradun. Why? Why not!
6. Have you ever been in handcuffs? What’s the story there?
Never been cuffed, but an incident in a gentlemen’s club led to me being detained briefly in the back of a Houston Police Department cruiser. There seemed to be some disagreement as to whether a lap dance from a waitress really counts (apparently it does). I’ve also been questioned by police in Barbados and Bergen, Norway.
7. You can hypothetically ban one user on the site. Who is it and why?
I suppose the popular choice is thevaginator, but he doesn’t bother me. He reminds me of Elvis Presley’s twin brother, Jesse (look it up). I am one of what Dan Regester once called “The same ten whiny little bitches with multiple accounts who are the furthest thing from funny or original.” So if I could ban one user it would be one of my other accounts. Just to make my life simpler..