Company Creates Post-Work Out Beer, Calls It A “Recovery Ale”

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Do you even lift, bro? If so, then there’s a new beverage that may be for you. A company is going to make a beer that doubles as a post-work out drink. It sounds crazy–because it probably is–but this is actually happening.

The beer, appropriately called Lean Machine, is intended to be consumed after you work out. Designed as a “recovery ale,” this malt beverage isn’t your everyday beer. It’s pretty low in alcohol. In fact, it’s only 0.5 percent alcohol by volume. That alone kind of turns me off to it, but like any product, you have to research it a little more than that.

Being the “fit beer” that it is, Lean Machine only has 77 calories per serving, which, if you’re trying to be healthy, is a good thing. Additionally, it’s full of protein. If you want to see gains and get your buzz going immediately, I guess this is the ideal beer for you.

There’s another major downfall to this beer, though: it’s Canadian. Sure, they’re our neighbors and one of our closest allies, but fuck them. Sorry, but after Sochi, I think I have every right to be at least a little pissed with those Monopoly money having, “eh” saying, curling sons of bitches. Furthermore, it’s low in alcohol. Really fucking low, actually. You’d have to drink about eight or nine of them to get the same amount of alcohol in your system as you would from drinking one good ol’ fashioned, freedom loving, God fearing, troop supporting Budweiser. That’s just cold, hard science.

All in all, I have to say I’m not a fan. Sure, it’s a cool idea, but the whole low alcohol thing is a real deal breaker. If I want to get drunk and recover after I work out, I’ll do it the way Americans have done it for generations: eat a veritable shit ton of red meat and drink whiskey. Hell, it worked for Davy Crockett.

[via NPR]

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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