Country Singer Randy Travis Really Needs to Stop Drinking

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Getting “Randy Travis drunk.” TFM.

That should really be a thing. Except getting Randy Travis drunk would likely kill the average man. If you can survive it, though, you’ll be incoherent, threatening, and reckless. Oh, and you’ll be completely naked. Randy Travis had an interesting Tuesday night, which involved, well, getting “Randy Travis drunk.”

The sheriff’s office received an emergency call just before midnight Tuesday about a man seen lying in a road west of Tioga, where the singer lives.

A car registered to Travis, 53, drove off the road, said Tom Vinger, spokesman for the Texas Department of Public Safety. The vehicle had struck several barricades in a construction zone, according to the DPS.

Vinger said Travis made threats against Texas Highway Patrol troopers and was not wearing clothes at the time of his arrest. He refused sobriety tests, Vinger said, so a blood specimen was taken.

Sheriff’s Sgt. Rickey Wheeler said Travis faces charges of retaliation or obstruction in addition to driving under the influence.

“Several barricades” implies more than two, doesn’t it? Travis plowed through a construction barricade, kept cruising, crashed through a second barricade, kept trucking, and drove through at least one more. After being naked arrested, thrown into the back of the cop car, refusing to cooperate or participate in a sobriety test, Travis wanted to get his money’s worth. Besides, those charges were some weak shit. He capped off an eventful evening with threatening to kill the officers with a gun.

Yo, RT. Remember that song, “Three Wooden Crosses” about the hooker, the preacher, and the legendary country singer that got naked drunk and plowed through a construction site? That shit was gold.

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Roger_Dorn

Roger Dorn (@RogerJDorn) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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  1. 2
    Yo Soy Fiesta

    This man drinks for a higher purpose. Just look at the determination in his eyes, he was not on a drunken rampage, he was on a fucking mission. If I was those cops he threatened I’d be real nervous right now.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 2
    JudgeFraterson

    No mention of the fact that he was rolling in ’98 TransAm??? Dorn you’re better than that! Pretty definitive evidence that Randy is stuck in ’98.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  3. 0
    LEGENwaitforitDARY

    I’m calling it now. In the next 24-48 hours, some worthless piece of shit (probably a high schooler posing as something along the lines of ‘southern fratty bowties & costas, or some original shit like that) will post a TFM saying “Getting ‘Randy Travis’ drunk. TFM,” just like Dorn mentioned at the very beginning of this news article. So fuck you, SouthernFrattyBowties&Costas. But more importantly, fuck you Intern, for letting such utter bullshit get posted. You are what is wrong with America. I bet you’d feel honored if you were given the chance to give Obama a rimjob while getting simultaneously anally fucked by Biden and Harry Reid, you queer liberal fuck.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  4. 0
    Campus Rapist

    Mother used to listen to Mr. Travis’ records while she sodomized me with a mr. potato head. But i’ll show her, I’LL SHOW ALL OF THEM.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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