Sex on the beach, whether it’s the fruity drink girls mistakenly order at the bar or the actual act of penetration, is always a terrible decision. No matter how much preparation goes into it, sand somehow always finds its way into the mix.
News out of Florida–because of course, it’s Florida–is that a couple was arrested for having sex on the beach in front of several individuals, including a 4-year-old girl, her mother, and someone who actually recorded the whole 25-minute exhibition.
From The Smoking Gun:
Elissa Alvarez, a 20-year-old waitress, and Jose Caballero, a 39-year-old personal trainer, were each busted for felony lewd and lascivious exhibition on Cortez Beach in Bradenton. Alvarez and Caballero were each released from jail today after posting $7,500 bond.
Cops were summoned to the beach by witness Emily Hall, who told officers that a Hispanic couple was “laying on a sheet next to her” when they “started to fondle each other.” In short order, Hall reported, the pair “started to have intercourse on the beach,” according to a probable cause affidavit.
Hall said she was “very upset” because her four-year-old daughter “witnessed the couple having sex.” Six other witnesses filed complaint affidavits describing Alvarez’s and Caballero’s explicit beach performance. In fact, “One witness filmed the couple with a camera phone to be used as evidence for this complaint,” an officer noted.
This was borderline voyeurism, as police weren’t called until the couple washed off in the water, came back, passed out for a few hours, and then went for a second go at it.
Still, Alvarez and Caballero knew damn well that people were watching. Unfortunately for them, this wasn’t Panama City in March–rules of public decency apparently apply in Bradenton. Maybe try a bathroom stall next time?
Alvarez isn’t bad to look at, though.
[via The Smoking Gun]
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