Couple Gets Flattened By Train While Having Sex On Tracks

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This reminds me of the story about the man who was killed while walking atop some train tracks near a railroad crossing while talking on his cell phone. As the story goes, the train conductor saw that the man — he was walking on the tracks in the opposite direction of the train — was having trouble hearing the person on the other end of the call, and he remedied this by covering his ear as if to block out the sound of the train approaching. Flattened. Darwin Award winner.

This story is similar in that the people that were run over by a train were distracted, both by their stupidity and an external factor. Instead of a phone conversation, the man’s exploratory endeavor of his counterpart’s innards, and her willingness of said endeavor, did them both in. In layman’s terms, she was getting railed (h/t DeVry Guy for that one – dude’s a poet).

Terrible or awesome way to go? Terribly awesome, maybe? One second you’re fornicating in the great outdoors, among nature and underneath the blue skies in front of God and everyone, then the next thing you know, your girlfriend’s guts are strewn about and you’re missing your legs. Talk about blue balls.

Authorities in the Ukranian city of Zaporizhia say the 41-year-old man and his thirtysomething girlfriend “failed to overcome their natural passion…and wanted to experience an extreme sensation near the railroad tracks.”

[...]

Ukraine’s Interior Ministry said the woman was killed instantly, but the man survived. He did, however, lose both his legs, and remains hospitalized in critical condition.

It gets worse for the Ukranian Lieutenant Dan. He’s likely to face charges for “violating the country’s rules governing railroad usage.” Worst day ever.

This song seems appropriate:

[via Gawker]

Image via Royds Hall Farm

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Roger_Dorn

Roger Dorn (@RogerJDorn) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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  1. 18
    Turkey

    Looks like South Park was right. Excessive meme usage will lead to death by train.

    Guess they were trying out the “Texas A&M 69’ing in Public” meme.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago

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