While reading this article about a couple having sexual intercourse on a soccer field after nearly everyone had cleared out of the stadium post-match, I learned that the technical term for a soccer field is a “pitch.” Didn’t know this until now. Soccer, so zany. Why can’t you call it a “field” like all the other outdoor sports on grass with sidelines call them? Why you gotta be so different, soccer, with your upward-counting game clocks and senseless “extra time” after the clock counts all the way up? What’s that all about, man? Why can’t you count down to zero? Boom, end of game. Everybody goes home. Does it make too much sense for you? Not whacky enough? Too traditional? Get over yourself, soccer. You’re the hipsters of sports.
Anyway, I’m happy to report something actually pretty exciting happened on a soccer field recently: a couple had sex on one.
As Manchester United and Chelsea so consummately proved at Old Trafford last night, goalless draws can be infuriatingly frustrating for those forced to sit through the tedium, and we can only imagine the 0-0 snoregasm between Brondby and Randers in the Danish Superliga on Sunday evening was even less entertaining.
Indeed, it seems the Brondby-Randers game was so dull that one particularly bored couple decided they had no other option than to have sex in the middle of the pitch immediately after the final whistle in the desperate hope of livening up their night a bit.
At least someone scored… Huh, guys? Am I right?
[via Who Ate All The Pies]