Court Rules Banning Sex Offenders From Facebook Unconstitutional

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Don’t you hate it when some crazy, creepy person with a mustache that looks like it had been witness to more crimes than your average fraternity composite contacts you on Facebook? I’ve never been a recipient, because apparently they only target women, pre-pubescent children, and teenagers, but it sounds pretty flattering terrifying. Well, the state of Indiana was having none of this, so they passed a law that banned registered sex offenders from using Facebook, as it could facilitate contact between them and minors.

A law that was quite recently ruled unconstitutional .

As a result, the flood gates of creepy sexual predator Facebook solicitations shall once again be open in Indiana, leaving the police powerless to do anything unless these offenders commit a crime. The ACLU came to the defense of John Doe child molester, and made sure his constitutional right to ogle underage girls in slutty clothing was not infringed upon.

/looks up at waving American flag
//proudly sheds a single tear

The good news is the federal judge didn’t think the law itself was a bad law. “To be upheld, the appeals court found such a law needs to be more specifically tailored to target ‘the evil of improper communication to minors.'” Thus, the state legislature has some recourse in drafting a much more specific law that prevents the kind of criminal behavior they’re seeking to deter. Indiana does already have laws on the books making the broader act of soliciting minors on the internet a crime, so the law in question seems to be a bit redundant anyway.

Personally, I think we deal with sex offenders the wrong way. There should be very different classifications for them, as right now most states lump “brother who got arrested for drunkenly pissing in public” with child molesters, serial abusers, and rapists. I think the former category probably doesn’t need more than a slap on the wrist, while the latter three should basically be subjected to an institution run by the closest real life equivalent to Kevin Spacey’s character from Seven. These are people that cannot be rehabilitated and they ruin countless lives with their incredibly selfish acts.

Alternatively, maybe we could do a Hunger Games thing with them and the detainees from Gitmo, except all the horrible monsters released to test the contestants would be things genetically engineered to be ironic and horrifying at the same time — like a giant 72 virgin hydra, except all the virgins would be basement-dwelling electrical engineering majors.

[via USA Today]

Image via USA Today

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  1. -3
    Land Shark

    I’m sorry but if you infringe upon the rights of other people, you lose your own rights. The ACLU can suck my left testicle. We can call not allowing registered sex offenders on Facebook unconstitutional but at the same time try to ban guns? Fuck that.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago