Crazed Redcoat Tries to Spoil American Ceremony; Gets the Hook

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American Webb Simpson came from seemingly out of nowhere late on Sunday to win the United States Open Championship. He kept a cool stroke, weathered the storm, and mixed in a few birdies in a slew of pars, all while watching his competitors struggle down the stretch. Simpson’s +1 overall score edged out Northern Irishman Graeme McDowell and American Michael Thompson to win his first major championship. Some would describe the final few holes of the tournament as uneventful, however. The trophy presentation, to the contrary, gave people plenty to talk about.

While little Bob Costas was interviewing the trophy-wielding Open champion, some crazy British asshole stormed to center-frame and started belting out some kind of odd bird sounds, perhaps a mating call of sorts. The type of bird he was emulating is still unclear, but rest assured it was some kind of fucked up non-flying British species that regularly finds itself on the business end of larger birds of prey. In a swift, instinctive act of justice, a Patriot from just off the screen grabbed the crazy man’s arm and gave him a quick, forceful power jerk to make him exit stage right. It was like a move straight out of American cinema classic, “Roadhouse.”

Like the cool customer Simpson is, he carried on with the interview in an unfazed, professional manner. Only when Costas mentioned the Redcoat bastard, Webb replied with a casual, “Enjoy the jail cell, pal.” Just great. That’s a total Webb Simpson comment.

The above photo is a humorous societal microcosm, actually. We have three dapper Americans in power suits and another holding a trophy after just conquering one of golf’s most esteemed accomplishments. Then, you have the loony Brit shaming his country’s flag and acting a fool. My favorite part of the photo, though, is the man in the upper-lefthand corner of the frame who is just looking at the guy with one of the greatest “Look at this stupid motherfucker here” faces I’ve seen.

Congratulations to Webb Simpson on winning the U.S. Open, and thanks for taking the high road when that Euro tried to steal your moment.

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  1. all_i do is win

    It wasn’t just some guy that dragged him away. It was Mike Davis, the exexutive director of the USGA. If you watched any golf you would have known that.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
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