Crazy parents are pretty entertaining, and there are all sorts to choose from. There are the overprotective parents who won’t let their 14-year-old son watch a PG-13 movie, instead opting to constrict their media consumption to Pixar movies and Bible cartoons, because God forbid (no really, GOD FORBIDS) he consume naughty secular media and turn into a violent queer-o-sexual, the irony being that his current upbringing is probably engineering a future latently gay Norman Bates. There are also psychotically competitive parents, my favorite being hockey dads who consider murder a reasonable way to end an argument, and overly judgmental pageant moms who drive their daughters to the sluttiest heights of anorexia. Forget the first parent example, you’re doing God’s work, pageant moms.
Those parents are all essentially clinically insane, and they probably should not be raising children. I wouldn’t go as far as to lump the parents who recently called NYU to bitch out the school’s admissions office for not accepting their precious little flowers into the university with the aforementioned crazies, because really these parents were more emotional than anything. Still, it’s always funny to watch a parent lose their shit over a perceived affront against their child.
In total, 30,000 applicants were rejected from this year’s incoming class, according to the university’s blog NYU Local.
Here are examples of some of the outrageous phone calls the school’s admission’s office has received, according to the school’s admissions office.
One caller demanded to talk to the school’s Head of Diversity Initiatives after explaining that her daughter is an African-American student, implying the admission’s office failed to acknowledge that.
Listen, if your daughter wasn’t even intelligent enough to check the “African-American” box on her college application then she probably doesn’t deserve to get into NYU, just a thought.
I wonder if the next time this mother refers to herself as a proud black woman she’s going to remember the time she shamelessly played the race card to try and get her daughter into a college that she wasn’t qualified to attend.
“Hi, my daughter with mediocre grades was not accepted into NYU, and I think it’s because you forgot that she’s black. So I’m just calling to confirm that yes, my daughter is in fact black, and you can go ahead and accept her now, because I assume her lack of blackness was the only reason she was not accepted in the first place.”
Unfortunately no counselors were available at that moment to confirm her daughter’s race, and that’s when the mother lost it.
‘I NEED TO TALK TO THAT PERSON NOW!’ the applicant’s mother reportedly shouted over the line.
‘GIVE ME THE NAME!’ she reportedly shouted as the representative requested more information.
Jesus Christ. I hope you were yelling at your daughter this much when she was coming home with shitty SAT scores.
As obnoxious as it is to throw a race card Hail Mary at a receptionist, it’s still at least a somewhat viable play, at least compared to the next call, which is truly shameless.
‘My daughter deserves to go to NYU more than her friend!’ one frustrated applicant’s mother exclaimed.
Man, the next time that girl comes over for dinner it’s going to be awkward.
Mother: (through gritted teeth) So…you got into NYU? How nice…
Friend: Yeah I’m really excited!
Mother: Yes, well, our little Kaitlyn was wait-listed, which is better than most do, but we’re not so sure if NYU is right for her anymore.
Friend: Really? I bet she’ll get in, she got such good grades. I just know she’ll get in. She’s so smart.
Mother: Well it’s just that New York is such a dangerous city. I was reading an article in Parade Magazine the other day about girls who go out in New York, even in the middle of the day, and get kidnapped and raped in dumpsters.
Mother: Oh yeah. Gangs of hobos kidnap girls and rape them in dumpsters. Then they get hepatitis and rats are biting their feet the whole time. It’s just really not a situation we want to put Kaitlyn in.
(*2 Days Later*)
Kaitlyn: Mom I can’t believe it, I just found out my friend decided not to go to NYU. I guess she read that Parade Magazine article you were talking about and changed her mind.
Mother: Oh, how strange. In totally unrelated news NYU just sent you a letter. I couldn’t wait so I opened it for you. YOU’RE OFF THE WAIT LIST YOU GOT IN!
Kaitlyn: But, I thought you said New York was too dangerous. What about the magazine article?
Mother: Well, uh…
Kaitlyn: Oh my God! There was no article. Now my best friend isn’t going to her dream college because you tricked her.
Mother: Well, honey, I just didn’t know what else to do, I’m sorry!
Kaitlyn: We’re black! Why didn’t you just tell them that?
While it’d be impossible to quantify which universities get the most calls like these, one would have to imagine that NYU is up there, based on the number of rejections and the sort of people that apply to the school. In my opinion NYU is, while an inarguably excellent institution, also one of the most overly-romanticized universities in the country, which makes rejection from it more devastating to its failed applicants than the rejects of other universities. But hey, that’s what you get for basing your college decisions on Gossip Girl, idiots.
[via The Daily Mail]