Crazy Towson Students To Patrol Campus For Crime

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Chances are you’ve probably never heard of Towson University. Although it’s one of the largest public universities in Maryland, it’s never done much to gain national attention. Recently, however, one student has brought the university into the national spotlight. 21-year-old Matthew Heimbach’s name can be found in publications from the Baltimore Sun to the Huffington Post today as a result his actions and statements regarding a club he founded on campus, the White Student Union.

The White Student Union, which is not recognized by the school administration, claims to promote the interests of Caucasian students on campus. While that might not sound too crazy, Heimbach’s former group, Youth for Western Civilization, “was disbanded after its required faculty sponsor resigned and after the group chalked ‘White Pride’ messages around campus.”

While the formation of a pseudo-racist group isn’t that strange, Heimbach’s intent for the White Student Union certainly seems a little odd, if not scary. Heimbach and his group intend to “go out a few nights a week” armed with Maglites and pepper spray in the hope that they will be able to stop a violent felony by making a citizen’s arrest. Heimbach also said that his group would inform the police of any crimes they witness.

Now, if you don’t think this idea doesn’t sound crazy, trust me, it is. Heimbach’s group has made the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Hate Map, which shows the location of extremist groups across the country. Heimbach was quoted as having said that, “what you see here is a very large problem of black-male-against-white-female crime.” Even if that is the case, it seems to me that the campus police would probably be the appropriate authority to hand the problem, rather than a bunch of kids with flashlights. Just a thought, though.

Next week in the news: “Group Of Small, Intrusive White Kids Viciously Beaten By Towson Football And Basketball Team Members As Cheerleaders Watch And Laugh.”

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[via The Baltimore Sun]

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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