Forget blunts. And bongs. And Geebs. There’s a new way to get the most out of your weed: soak it in the formaldehyde of a severed human brain.
A Pennsylvania man was accused of illegally obtaining a human brain after his aunt found it in a department store bag under a porch while cleaning out a trailer. That’s gotta be the weirdest instance of a parental unit finding their kid’s paraphernalia ever. It was hard enough for me to explain the bowl my dad found in the back of my sock drawer. But you can’t claim a dripping, pulsating cerebrum in a Macy’s bag was “just for tobacco.”
The man had been using the juices from the brain to get his own to another level. Supposedly, the formaldehyde amplifies the high significantly, causing hallucinations. State police charged Joshua Lee Long, 26, with abuse of a corpse and conspiracy.
From Mass Live:
“The defendant related that he knew it was illegal to have the brain and that he and (another man) would spray the embalming fluid on ‘weed’ to get high,” wrote Trooper John Boardman, the investigator.
Court records indicate a coroner concluded the brain was real and that Long supposedly named it Freddy.
The coroners who examined the brain believe it was most likely a stolen teaching specimen, according to the arrest affidavit.
Dear God. The sick bastard named it! Hey, I guess every faithful piece has to be christened with a title (I named my bong in college Peter Danklage — it was short yet powerful). Homie could’ve come up with a better name for a brain than Freddy, though. Like Pinky. Or Mojo Jojo.
Those wacky stoners are always coming up with inventive new ways to get high. Every fraternity has at least one brother who’s constantly buying crazy new contraptions to chief with, and every time he picks up a new piece he’s dying to show it off to everyone he sees. Like a crazy dab rig shaped like a dragon. Or a volcano bong. I’d probably have to draw the line at pot drenched in brain fluids, though. I mean, I’d try it. But I definitely wouldn’t hang out with the dude alone..
[via Mass Live]