Crybaby Iowa Senator Introduces Bill Condemning Stanford’s Band For Hurting Iowa’s Feelings

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Hey, remember when Stanford’s band mocked Iowans at halftime of the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Day this year by bringing a giant cow onto the field and poking fun at Or perhaps you had changed the channel because the game was already an embarrassing beat-down.

Either way, that was a funny halftime performance, right?

Wrong, says thin-skinned Iowa state senator Mark Chelgren. He’s introduced a bill that would prohibit any non-athletic collaboration between Stanford and any major state-funded universities in Iowa. Because when Stanford, a world-wide leader in academic excellence, is looking for a research partner, Iowa is the first place it turns.

From The Des Moines Register:

Iowa’s three state universities would be prohibited from cooperating with Stanford University until Stanford officials publicly apologize to Iowans for “unsporting behavior” by the school’s marching band during the Jan. 1 Rose Bowl football game under a bill introduced Wednesday in the Iowa Senate.

State Sen. Mark Chelgren, R-Ottumwa, told The Des Moines Register at the Iowa Capitol on Wednesday that he introduced Senate File 2081 because he believes Stanford officials have condoned improper behavior by the marching band.

“I think it’s unfortunate because here in Iowa we try to teach sportsmanship,” Chelgren said. “We try to teach courtesy, and when someone behaves in a way that is contrary to that, we need to point it out.”

The Iowa legislation would prohibit “certain future collaboration and cooperation” between Stanford and the University of Iowa, Iowa State University and the University of Northern Iowa. However, it would permit sporting events between Stanford and the Iowa universities. In addition, collaborations and contracts already in effect would be exempt from the ban.

The bill noted that some Stanford band members have had a history of bad behavior, and it says Stanford University officials displayed a lack of judgment in authorizing the marching band’s performance during the Rose Bowl halftime.

Sen. Robert Dvorsky, D-Coralville, chairman of the Iowa Senate Appropriations Committee, said the bill “sends a message” to Stanford about the actions of its marching band, but he doesn’t believe Chelgren’s proposal will be approved by the Senate.

Are you fucking kidding me, you babies? The elected leaders of the shithole state of Iowa got their feelings hurt by Stanford’s band, and instead of moving on from the performance like a well-adjusted adult would, decided to introduce worthless legislation?

And worse, some other state officials agree with it. Nobody, to my knowledge, has come out and said, “Wow, Mark. That was dumb. Thanks for wasting our time.” That is so embarrassing.

It must be so easy to be a state senator. Maybe that’s what I’ll do if I can’t find a full-time job.

[via Des Moines Register]

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