Diary Of A Father Whose Daughter Is Away At Freshman Orientation

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Nice Move

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Monday, August 25

Dear Diary,

Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday I was walking my baby girl to Kindergarten class, with pigtails on her head and a lunchbox as big as she was in her hand, and now she’s about to start college. COLLEGE! She grew up way too fast. But what a young lady she has turned out to be. I couldn’t be more proud of my Lisa. She’s beautiful, smart, and has a great head on her shoulders.

With the beginning of this new chapter in her life comes so much more responsibility, a ton of mental development, and yes, a whole lot of fun. I just pray my baby girl uses her head these next four years and stays away from people and situations that could potentially lead her down the wrong path. I’m going to worry about her, but I’m a dad. That’s what dads do.

Today she leaves for overnight freshman orientation. I’m half excited for her, and half worried about the devilish temptations that await in her new surroundings. She has an account on the social media website Twitter.com. I saw it one day after she forgot to log out, so I wrote down her Twitter name. Now I get to follow her through her journey these next couple days!

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I’m worried about the fraternity guys. I was in a frat once, so I know how they can be. Like vultures scouting out their prey, they sit and wait.

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Tuesday, August 26

Dear Diary,

It’s the morning after Lisa’s first night away at orientation. She wasn’t active on Twitter.com so I’m guessing (and hoping!) that means she had a low key night in her dorm room with some friends. I did notice something concerning, however. An upperclassman was engaging her on Twitter.com. He looks like someone that isn’t to be trusted around your 18-year-old daughter.

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This Dan character needs to stay away from my Lisa.

Tuesday, August 26

Dear Diary,

This is my second entry today. Lisa seems to have woken up and I’m not a happy camper right about now. I haven’t spoken to her yet, but evidence would suggest she consumed alcohol last night.

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She’s too young to be drinking, obviously. She’s 18, and while yes, alcohol is readily available at all times in college, she’s still too young to be responsible with alcohol. Plus, she’s such a bright girl and knows it’s not a good idea to be drinking. AND she needs to be focusing on what she’s there to do: learn about the school and register for her courses. I’m a little peeved right now, but everyone is entitled to a mistake, even my Lisa.

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There’s that Frockington kid again. Serving to minors is ILLEGAL!

Tuesday, August 26

Dear Diary,

This is my THIRD motherfucking entry today, and it’s because of this little Frockington fuck.

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Don’t go, Lisa. Please.

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No. Damn it.

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Singling her friends out? What a jerk.

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That’s my girl. Stick up for Rebecca. She’s sweet. Her father is a golfing buddy of mine, too! Terrible short game hahaha.

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What the hell, Lisa?

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I’m truly disgusted, both by Dan Fuckington and Lisa’s lack of respect for herself and her friends. Maybe she’s just not ready for this step in her life. I’ll talk to her mother about all this, but it’s not too late to have Lisa live at home with us. We’re only 30 or so minutes away so she could commute to class. I’d like to see her go to frat parties when she has a 10 o’clock curfew!

Then again, these are her first few nights away from home, so maybe she just needs to get this out of her system. She’s such a responsible young lady. And I know she would never go for an asshole like this Frockington kid. She has much higher standards. I bet she never even talked to him at this party. I also bet that since she felt bad from drinking last night that she didn’t even drink at the frat house and went straight home after the party ended.

I’m so proud of her. I love her so much.

Wednesday, August 27

Dear Diary,

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Don’t be Lisa. Don’t be Lisa. Don’t be Lisa.

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FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

Dan Frockington is a fucking dead man.

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