“Dirty Rush” Is The Sorority Book That Will Make Nationals Everywhere Weep

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One of my favorite “South Park” episodes ever was “The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs.” In it, as you can see in the clip below, the four boys of South Park wrote a book that was meant totally and exclusively to repulse the reader and assault their senses with unimaginably horrifying graphic sexual imagery. And everyone loved it. “It’s… it’s awesome. It’s the best book I’ve ever read.” That was the review of a shocked, exhausted Randy Marsh, as he had finished reading the manuscript and, also, violently purging as a reaction the contents of said book.

I basically felt exactly like Randy Marsh after I finished reading “Dirty Rush” by Taylor Bell, which will ultimately go down as the most infamous and most hilarious, if not simply the most incredible, sorority tale ever told. I was laughing, crying, disgusted, and entertained. Finishing “Dirty Rush” actually left me feeling sort of empty inside, in the same way a crippling hangover or sexual exhaustion (which I know ALL about) would. That is to say, it was worth it. This book is going to flood sorority national offices with tears (and also probably terrified phone calls from parents). The book is a thousand nightmares a father has about his daughter, strung together in a fascinating, irreverent, and hysterical narrative of one girl’s freshman year in a sorority at a typical state school.

Don’t let the subject matter fool you, either. This is not a book written specifically to entertain females. It’s part “Bridesmaids,” part the legendary Rebecca Martinson email. Martinson, by the way, wrote the foreward for the book, and it’s as abusive as you would expect.

Taylor Bell’s sorority tale will have you wanting to have a woman like Taylor in your life, unless that woman turns out to be your daughter (please God, no). I haven’t had the opportunity to meet Taylor yet, but I’m both terrified and excited (also aroused, maybe?) to eventually shake her hand, hopefully have a few drinks, and hopefully not wake up the next morning with slew of freshly terrible life decisions to think about.

Aside from the shocked, hysterical laughing fits “Dirty Rush” delivers, the book is legitimately a fantastic peek behind the curtain of sorority life. Well, it doesn’t really peek behind the curtain so much as it does rip the curtain down and set it on fire, but you get my point. I had the same reaction to “Dirty Rush” as I did when I first read the aforementioned Martinson email, which is to say I laughed my ass off and thought, “That sounds about right.”

“Dirty Rush” goes on sale January 13th.

Read the first chapter, “Tequila, Lime Juice, and Adderall” here.

You can preorder the book at DirtyRushBook.com.

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