We’ve all been there. It’s been a long night. You’ve been out at the bar, but for some reason you just weren’t able to bring someone home with you. Perhaps you were off your game, or perhaps you were retard drunk and couldn’t form enough coherent sentences to convince some lucky lady to come home and do the no-pants dance with you. Whatever the reason, you’re home, and you struck out. Usually, this leads to a lot of random drunk texts and maybe bringing a girl off the end of the bench or out of IR to finish off the night well.
You now have another option than the 2am “What are you doing?” text or the “Let’s watch a movie on Netflix” method. There is a new Facebook app called Bang with Friends (like Words with Friends, but for your penis, and there’s no Scrabble elements, or anything resembling a game really). Basically, you sign up, rate the girls on your friend list to see if you would bang them and then, if you’re both down, the app lets both of you know and you can message each other to set up plans for a trip to pound town.
On one hand, this sounds like an interesting, albeit a bit weird, way to coordinate a hook-up. It can of course be used outside the normal hours where most of us make our incredibly bad decisions, but that’s where I see most of the use going. It doesn’t yet include preferences or take much else into account, so at the moment your family members also show up in the list as well — a boon for those of you residing parts of the country where “keeping it in the family” is just frowned upon instead of illegal.
Personally, I’d probably be a bit wary to use the app. I’d be concerned that the girls using it would either be A) busted, or B) batshit insane. The former is easy to get rid of, you simply don’t rate them bangable. The latter could be a crazy-in-disguise situation where you end up strapped to a wall in a German dungeon porn roleplay with some chick you barely know from a social eight months back. That is not how you want to spend your night, and the bruises and burn marks might be hard to explain to your professor in lecture the next day.
…moving right along…
The authors include this helpful image with the app:
It seems to double as a tutorial for the app, and a tutorial for how to put on a condom. This doesn’t bode well for the audience they expect to use this app. If you’re looking for semi-anonymous sex on Facebook, you should know how to use a condom. What is this, amateur hour?
“We’ll be honest with you, we made this in two hours… with a lot of Red Bull and vodka … and it took off on its own,” one of the creators said.
Oh, then that explains quite a bit, actually. It seems like these guys could use some help actually improving this app to be less…well, written by a 7th grader who just learned what sex was. You can always email them directly at their entirely professional, business appropriate address, email@example.com with feedback.
[via The Daily Beast]
Image via BangWithFriends.com