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Donating Sperm? This Sperm Bank Will Jerk You Off

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Donating sperm has never appealed to me. Well, actually, that’s a lie. I’ve tried to donate before, but when I walked into the clinic, the receptionist took one look at my face, cringed, and pointed her finger at the door. We didn’t exchange words, but I caught her drift–they must’ve been closed for the day. Ever since then, I’ve just kept forgetting to go in and fire off some knucklekids. Now it looks like I have a good reason to add it to my calendar, though.

From FAF Magazine:

A hospital in Nanjing, China is doing what no sperm bank has done before… jacking off its sperm donors.

That’s right. By using a machine with a “massage pipe”, users can adjust height, frequency, amplitude, and temperature to best fit their masturbatory needs.

First off, I might have to subscribe to FAF magazine, seeing as I am an incredibly FaF individual. Secondly, this is a great idea, and I’ll tell you why. Think about the kind of person who will donate sperm now that he knows he can get jerked off AND get paid for it. This guy is exactly the kind of person whose children you want populating our planet. I, for one, welcome our new masturbation-addicted overlords.

Check out the video of the contraption at work. It’s a can’t-miss.

I can’t wait until this comes to the U.S.

[via FAF Magazine]

Image via Youtube

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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