Don’t Bash My Home

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With the 2012 presidential election coming up, there has been an incredible amount of mudslinging from both sides of the American political spectrum. The Democrats have been coming up with clever ways to label forcing a redistribution of wealth, and have an unorganized and currently irrelevant occupy movement that has yet to inspire anyone to actually DO anything in terms of discourse. Conversely, the Republicans are dead set on making sure the world knows Obama and Marx are synonymous names as far as political positions are concerned and the Tea Party movement has somehow managed to convince half the public that they are the “freedom” party without realizing the hypocrisy that is telling people how to live their lives based on a book that not everyone reads.

Both camps are very determined to make sure that the world knows their candidate of choice for the presidency will provide the answer America needs for all of their difficult questions, meanwhile demonizing the utter shit out of the other party’s poster boy. Folks, I’m not about to tell you I’m pissed off about all of this. All of this is to be absolutely expected during an election year and I enjoy the fodder it provides for comedic analysis. However, I AM The Dapper Dipper, and I certainly AM pissed about something. The thing that keeps continuously annoying me is not the run-of-the-mill trash talking between candidates, the onslaught of pointless four second misinterpreted sound-bites, or even the wave of uneducated voters that have popped up more recently in the electorate. No, the thing I have a problem with is the irreverence everyone seems to have when they decide to go shit-talking AMERICA.

I’m sure if you are a staunch party voter in either the Republican or Democratic voter pool, you are waiting for me to start pointing the finger at the other party like you probably would…but I’m not going to do that. I’m pointing my finger at all of you people that decided to put your political affiliation over your dedication to this country as a citizen. Apparently, a lot of you have forgotten you’re an AMERICAN first and a party voter second. If you have no idea what I am talking about, let me enlighten you.

Democrats, I guess I didn’t think much of your Occupy Wall Street movement at first, and I guess that was somewhat foolish of me. You are absolutely right; OWS has gotten me to really think about a lot of things I had never really considered. One of those things would have to be the degree of disrespect shown by the trendy left when it comes to my country. People ditching work to go protest people working their asses off in a market that is going down the shitter is the opposite of what is going to make this country better. How easy it is to make broad generalizations about how the “system” is broken and needs to be “changed” without offering any semblance of a solution. You honestly think America is broken? Take that sentiment home to your house in Queens that you somehow have managed to afford despite the fact you have taken a day off work to complain about how awful this country has become. Never mind that our poorest people live like kings compared to the poorest in other countries. America is BROKEN. You’re right; the country that provides you the rights to tell it how awful it is to its face and offers you the protection to do so via its constitution is broken. Have fun complaining about the market while you do nothing on the side of the road to fix it.

Republicans, you aren’t getting off easy here either. I know some of you are really pissed off about Obama and the job he is doing. You have every right to, just like the Occupiers have every right to be ungrateful, useless little shits. But livid is not even an appropriate amount of angry to describe how I feel when I hear remarks about how some of you wish Obama was no longer president. I don’t mean removal by losing an election; I mean people honestly wish the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA would be assassinated. Think about that. Regardless of what party you support, or what convictions you have; if you live in America, the president is YOUR president. I don’t care how much you disagree with him, how little you like his policies, or how fucking blatantly racist you pretend to be to convince people you’re a real southerner (which is pathetic). If you wish ill will on the face of our nation, how dare you call yourself a patriot. Does no one remember the national tragedy that was JFK’s assassination? It was a terrible and traumatizing day for Democrats and Republicans. Democrats weren’t upset that a Democratic president was assassinated; they were upset an AMERICAN president was assassinated. Republicans weren’t rejoicing; they were mourning the fact that our commander in chief had been taken from us. So, explain to me how wishing death upon the leader of our nation is supposed to make you seem more American again.

The point I’m trying to make is that we are American first, above and beyond anything else. We are allowed to disagree on our political views. It’s actually encouraged. But it should never make you disrespect the country that you live in and call home. To hear people say that my country is broken, and that my president should be assassinated, makes my red, white, and blue blood boil something hot. MY country is not broken, and regardless of how I register, the president will always be MY president as long as I am an American. The problem here isn’t this beautiful place that gives us so much. The problem is the spoiled people who take so much for granted, on both sides.

I am a proud University of Florida graduate with a degree in political science. I decided to stray from the lavish career path of a political scientist to join the Grandex team in December of 2013. When I'm not suffering from a panic attack, snacking at the Rowdy Gentleman office, or writing my bio in first person, I enjoy terrible found footage horror movies, brunch, and occasionally producing content for TFM and PGP.

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  1. 9
    JamesTBraxton III

    I find it funny that everyone wants to blame the other party for our country’s troubles. Obama did this, Bush did that. It doesn’t fucking matter how it happened. We’re in the shit now and need a way out of it. Instead of pointing the finger trying to get the opposing party to admit fault they should be working to fix the problem. Instead of making progress our country is worried about Obama’s birth certificate or Bush’s personal interest in the middle-east. I find it hard to believe that our best and brightest can’t figure out a way to bring this country back to greatness. How can the government expect citizens to pay their debts when the country is trillions in debt. It’s sad that our “leaders” can’t balance a fucking checkbook.

    – A proud yet pissed off American

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
    • 0
      JamesTBraxton III

      While you do make a valid point, that wasn’t the message I was trying to get across. It is important to know who fucked up in the past so that we don’t make the same mistakes, but the country as a whole has been hung-up on the same bullshit for far too long. Arguing over dumb shit is getting us nowhere. There’s no use in crying over spilled milk. For the time being, Obama is our president and our country is going through an economic crisis. It’s about time our lawmakers set their priorities in order and focus on coming up with solutions. Complaining about irrelevant shit is not the answer.

      ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
    • -4
      Joran van der Frat

      Actually, it does matter. Assigning blame is an important part of politics because educating voters on which leaders and policies have created our current problems will help make sure they do not have the opportunity to make the same mistakes in the future. Voters need to know that the policies of Dodd/Frank/Reid/Pelosi created this economic mess, and that Obama/Biden are hell-bent on continuing them. Why? Because these same people are up for re-election, and we can’t allow them another chance to make things worse by retaining their positions of power. “Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it.”

      ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
  2. 2

    Great article. Anyone who comments that Obama is just some secret muslim who we should assassinate is an absolute moron and the type of try hard fuck face who doesn’t understand true patriotism or anything about politics. I understand the importance of a conservative fiscal policy and individual liberties but a person who votes republican because their dad does or because its what the other guys in your fraternity and this site say is cool, is as bad as any liberal who voted for Obama just because he was black.

    And voting Obama out of office because he has misguided political views is fine and I hope it happens, but wishing that someone would be killed because they have a different opinion on how to better the country (although wrong) is fucking ridiculous and you are just trying to get attention. People like that are why politicians need to dumb down their campaigning to the level of “America is good. Create Jobs. Less Taxes. Obama sucks” without giving any real insight into how or why.

    This is the greatest fucking country on earth because we have the right and ability to adapt, learning along the way. Obama put in socialized medicine and when it fails, the country will learn from it like we did after the prohibition. And any thunder-cunt that puts any political party or their hatred for a president above our nation should be ashamed of themselves.

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
  3. 1

    don’t care about either republicans nor democrats. people who take political sh*t far too seriously shouldn’t be in politics in the first place. live and let live and don’t get in my (or any other American’s) f*cking way…

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
    • 4

      two sides refusing to talk with each other? might as well have an all-PMS congress – a bunch of pussies in a cat fight. i’d say republicans act tough but the democrats have had more decorated combat vets serve in congress so no one really can say which is better. government is a shame. we should have just let charles heston and henry fonda duke it out. last one standing wins.

      ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
    • 1

      Yea man. Just sit back and dont even feign interest in your country’s future. The benevolent powers that be will see to everything for you. Go smoke another joint.

      ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
  4. 0
    Fratman begins

    “Does no one remember the national tragedy that was JFK’s assassination?” I’m gonna speak for everybody when I say no. Mainly because JFK was assassinated in 1963 and this is a webstie for college kids ages 18-23 meaning that the oldest viewers were born in either 1988 or 1989 which is at least twenty five years after JFK was assassinated.

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
    • -3
      Brobert F Kennedy

      Plus by comparison JFK had the same kinds of policies as George Bush 43. The Northern Democrats used to be where the Republicans are now. JFK ran Right of Richard Nixon. Republicans haven’t moved very much. Democrats totally jumped ship after the 60s and went all pinko communist.

      JFK fucking got murdered by the Communists. So if someone decides to take out a communist just because he miraculously got elected president that’s just being patriotic.

      ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago
  5. -1

    Agreed. American’s should be glad they live in a country where they can actually disagree with, and talk shit about the government and not be scared to do so.

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago

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