The 10 Frattest Sports Movie Characters

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Every penis-wielding son of a bitch in our great nation appreciates when sports and American cinema are combined. Classic movies like “The Natural,” “Hoosiers” and “The Sandlot” strike emotionally down in the deepest parts of our loins, and iconic scenes from these timeless flicks make our bollocks tingle. Today we’ll examine the character traits of the most respected characters from all-time great sports movies, and analyze their inspirational attributes.

Roy McAvoy

Roy McAvoy is a PGA caliber talent with no shot at earning his card. He’s held back by his beer drinking, tail-chasing and mental instability. Roy is also a short-tempered hot head with gambling problems.

Guy’s FaF, though. He committed a devastating post-grad TFM while caddying for PGA great, David Simms. After suggesting Simms hit the 3-wood and carry the water on the short par 5 16th, Simms refused and shaped a smooth 7-iron in perfect approach position. After Simms’ partner, Craig Stadler, proposed a bet to “Tin Cup” that he couldn’t make the shot, he accepted, costing him his job. McAvoy fucking stuck it, though.

Oh yeah, and he also stole Simms’ girlfriend and gave her the business in his Winnebago.

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Roger_Dorn

Roger Dorn (@RogerJDorn) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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  1. 1
    ItJustComesFratural

    I laughed so hard at this and I like the self promo, but you you forgot all of the starters from the West Canaan Coyotes…And Tweeder drank beers, cause…well…Tweeder drinks beers.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
    • 1
      The Golden Fleece

      GDI’s usually win in movies because the majority of people making the movies or writing the scripts are taking out their years of frustration from being bullied out in films.

      Plus it just makes sense. Most people are GDI’s. Need a movie that most people can relate to and feel good about, so make the geed the hero. Bing bang boom, you got a movie.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago

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