It’s easy to presume there are some intellectually-challenged drug dealers out there, and some evidence to support this notion has been discovered in hilarious fashion. Two drug smugglers got their Jeep Cherokee stuck on a 14 ft. tall fence on the border of Mexico and California, leaving it suspended in mid-air.
According to the Border Patrol, agents from the Yuma, Arizona station surprised two apparent smugglers early Tuesday morning in the Imperial Sand Dunes area of Southeastern California. The smugglers had driven their silver SUV up a metal ramp on the Mexican side of the fence and were trying to drive down a ramp on the U.S. side when the bottom of the vehicle got hung up on the fence.
When Border Patrol agents approached the vehicle, two suspects were found trying to pry it free, but to no avail. They fled the scene. The vehicle and two ramps have been seized.
Those Mexican high school geometry classes must be something awful. I could have just eyeballed the angle of that second ramp and told these assholes it wouldn’t work. That Cherokee is clearing, what, a foot and a half off the ground? Gimme a break, guys.
This is how the convo went when this team of drug-pushing slapdicks retreated back to Mexico after their failed mission:
Group Leader: “Sir, I’m afraid I have some bad news.”
Head of Cartel: “Shit. What is it? You didn’t deliver my stuff, did you?”
Group Leader: “No, sir. I’m terribly sorry.”
Head of Cartel: “The fuck happened?”
Group Leader: “We got stuck at the border, but we brought the drugs back with us.”
Head of Cartel: “Imbeciles. At least you brought the stuff back. Now I don’t have to kill you. I’ll contact our U.S. connection and get it smoothed out. Get my Jeep cleaned up for me at least.”
Group Leader: “One more thing…your Jeep got stuck on the border fence.”
Head of Cartel: “Haha, you guys are so dead.”