When a man hears the phrase “You won’t,” he experiences an automatic and binding obligation to rise to the occasion. It’s our bat signal. Our gun shot at the start of a race. Our call to duty.
The phrase is effective because it implies the challenger has no faith in your willingness to do awesome shit. It implies that based on your previous actions, there is no evidence suggesting this time will be any different.
“You won’t surf that mattress down the staircase.”
Hold my beer.
“You won’t talk to that girl in the bar.”
I can already feel the sting from her slap across my face.
Yes. I. Fucking. Will. Motherfucker.
In the case of 19-year-old Danny Joe Parkson, who was on a drunken trip with his boys in Greece, the debasing peer pressure came in the form of “You won’t tattoo the names of all 17 of us down your left leg.”
From Daily Mail:
“They said I wouldn’t do it, I said I would, and it went on like that.”
The crew got sloshed, then each threw in 10 euros for Danny to get their names, “Brad, Cooler, Grundy, Fizzy, Dec, Rozzer, E.D., Joe, Greeny, Zack, Arsey, McGill, Karl, Liam, Robbo, Mattie, Banjo, Everritt,” inked into his flesh forever (Banjo is him).
— Complex Style (@ComplexStyle) July 24, 2015
The name Everitt was crossed out because he left the trip early. What a poos. Someone should have told him, “Come on, Ev, stay. You won’t.”.
[via Daily Mail]
Image via Shutterstock