Drunk Man Rides Horse Into Bar, Lassoes Patron

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Nice Move

Sometimes, it’s just plain great to be the center of attention. Admit it. We’re all guilty of it. From getting on the stage with the band to giving a speech at an event you weren’t invited to, it’s just good, clean American fun to show off under the spotlight and get your fifteen seconds of fame. One man has outdone us all. He has pulled what is definitely one of the greatest series of power moves in history.

Jeremy Mouton, a 26-year-old resident of Scott, Louisiana, was, according to authorities, “highly intoxicated” at a local bar one evening when an idea popped into his head. Maybe it was beer, or maybe it was destiny, but regardless of the source of inspiration, Mouton had reached complete drunken enlightenment. He wanted to show everyone in the bar that he was the man, and fate would have it that he’d found the way to do it.

Mouton left the bar, walked outside, and initiated the first power move. He took a horse from a trailer. The town of Scott, Louisiana is known as “Where the West Begins,” so I guess it’s normal for there to be horse trailers outside the bar. Of course, the name of the bar, Cowboy Saloon, may have had something to do with that. In the period of time that followed, Jeremy Mouton’s actions would prove that the bar’s name was rather appropriate.

Mouton proceeded to pull his next power move. He took a few laps around the bar and its parking lot before riding off into what I can only assume was a brilliant sunset. I really hope he was sitting on that horse taunting everyone around him in slurred speech, shouting, “Look at me, you lowly fucks. I’m on a horse!”

Mouton’s next move was by far the greatest. He decided to take a victory lap of the establishment, which was at this point filled with shocked and confused patrons. Instead of just riding around the bar, Mouton rode into it.

When a patron grabbed the horse’s reins in an attempt to stop Mouton and bring him outside, Mouton pulled the next power move of the evening. He lassoed the man trying to stop him and pulled him through the parking lot. After pulling the man around for a bit, Mouton let him go and rode home on his steed. By this point, I’d say it’s safe to assume the authorities had been notified.

Apparently, Mouton hadn’t had enough action for the evening. He had to get just one more power move in that night. After riding around the bar twice and lassoing someone, Mouton returned to the bar on foot. Think about that. After everything he’d done, you know he knew the cops would be there. That didn’t stop him, though. He was on a mission.

After arriving back at the bar, Mouton attempted to hide from the authorities, but he was eventually found, apprehended, and arrested. He’s being charged with disturbing the peace, 2nd degree battery, and public intimidation and retaliation, which is apparently a crime.

While his actions were illegal, I personally find them inspiring. In Mouton, we see a little bit of ourselves. He was drunk and just trying to have a good time.

[via ABC News]

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BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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