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Drunk UConn Student Assaults Cafeteria Worker After Being Denied Mac & Cheese, Deserves Electric Chair

What you are about to witness is one of the shittiest human beings in the history of mankind operating at maximum douchiness. Having just watched this video, every fiber of my being is begging me to quit my job, give up all my worldly possessions, and wander the earth until I find this turd so I can punch him in the chest as hard as I can and just crumple the kid.

Everyone involved in this situation, and I mean everyone up until that hero finally comes in and takes him down, deserves some level of shaming. The fact that nobody just straight up blindsided this clown with a haymaker is unbelievable. Some good samaritan should’ve beaten this kid over the head with a cafeteria tray until he lost consciousness, hopefully forever. After about 30 seconds, it should’ve been painfully obvious to all bystanders that there would be no reasoning with this ass clown. This is a piece of crap that needs to be flushed hard and fast, because the stench is only going to get worse. He’s wearing socks with Adidas sandals, sweatpants, and a hoodie, and demanding bacon jalapeño mac and cheese, for fuck’s sake. How was there not a single UConn student present willing to give this weasel a dirt nap?

I understand that the cafeteria manager taking most of the abuse was more concerned with keeping his job and staying out of jail than personally pummeling this loser, but come on. If that’s me, as soon as I notice that someone has a few minutes of this psycho’s idiotic behavior on camera, I’m upper-cutting him right in the dick. I don’t care if I lose my job, or have to do some time in the slammer, or whatever — I can handle mine’s — but that kid is getting at least one flawless, full-power punch in the cock. I mean, he’s verbally and physically disrespecting you in pretty much every way possible short of taking your wife from behind and making you watch. You have to fight that fuck. You have to. No judge in America could possibly blame you.

Fuck. That. Kid.

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover podcast, unbiased Rockets fan, fair-weather Astros fan, and sad Texans fan who attended the 2017 Masters.

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