News

Dude Gets Stuck In ATM That He Was Fixing

Screen Shot 2017-07-14 at 12.05.24 PM

I feel like I’m a broken record every time I cover a news story. I’m always just like “oh, this happened already in Seinfeld” like pretty much every time. Well, giddy up, we’ve got another one. Sort of. What we’re dealing with today is a classic case of being stuck in the ATM machine.

From WJAC:

A man is happy to be free after getting stuck in an ATM room of a Corpus Christi bank.

The man was working on changing a lock inside a room that connects to an ATM. The contractor was able to ask for help by sending notes through the ATM to customers.

Officers say some people thought it was a joke, but one customer took the note seriously and called police.
No word on just how long the man was stuck inside the room.

Yes, this isn’t exactly like when that guy had his jacket caught in the ATM and the only way for him to get out was for George to give up his ATM code. But it’s close, and any opportunity for me to go back and watch old clips of how the issue was handled twenty years ago brings innumerable joy to my life.

Do I hundo P believe that this handyman was “fixing a lock?” Not necessarily. Seems to me that anyone stuck inside of an ATM machine is there maybe on the pretense of changing a lock but actually is there to rob stacks of cash. I mean, how could you not? You’re literally inside the computer ATM, surrounded by thousands of bingo dingos. Who’s going to know if you pocket a couple stacks? Not a lot, just enough to pay off your bookie, (okay, so maybe a lot – jeez Mom I don’t have a gambling issue just chill).

The fact that he got out by sending a note through the machine is bananas in pajamas. First off, this guy didn’t have a cell phone? He couldn’t make a call for help? That’s suspicious. So he slips a note through the machine. Imagine being the person trying to make a withdrawal and all of a sudden there’s a note from beyond saying that someone is stuck behind the ATM. Not something you see every day.

But the good Samaritan is a buzz kill and here’s why: The note said “Please help, I’m stuck in here and I don’t have my phone. Please call my boss at 210-xxx-xxx.” And then instead of calling the boss, fucking Captain America decides to call the cops instead! They foiled his heist unknowingly. So the moral of the story is that if you’re going to rob an ATM, bring your phone.

[via WJAC]

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Boston Max

You can usually find me romancing your older sister over at PGP (PostGradProblems)

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