I hate the fucking Eagles. The band, yes, but the football team even more. It’s basically a scientific fact that Philadelphia sports fans are the worst breed of sports fans. You can imagine my utter lack of surprise when I read about the newest travesty in Philly fandom. On Sunday, Vietnam veteran and awesome name-haver Sonny Forriest, Jr., was doing his thing outside Lincoln Financial Field while the Eagles played the Giants. By “his thing,” I mean that he traditionally entertains fans by singing during the games. What happened next might be the Philliest thing I’ve ever heard.
A drunk lady ran up and jumped onto his lap, breaking his microphone. Well, that’s just annoying, but drunk women randomly jumping into dudes’ laps happens in every city, so that’s nothing special. According to Sonny, she seemed apologetic about breaking his mic: “She said, ‘I will pay you for [the microphone].’ I said, ‘That’s all right, baby, go ahead and have a good time,’ and then she disappeared.” Except before disappearing, she snatched Sonny’s prosthetic leg, which he had removed because it was causing him some discomfort.
This kind of behavior should shock no one, given that we’ve experienced decades of Philly fans hurling batteries at players, loudly booing McNabb when he was drafted, cheering for Michael Irvin’s career-ending neck injury, and intentionally vomiting on 11-year-old girls. There’s a reason they had to install a courtroom and a jail in their old stadium. Animals, the lot of them.
Except for Sonny. He seems like a cool guy. Hope he gets his leg back..