Lombardy Elementary School staff members have issued apologies after an email was sent out to parents with the wrong attachment. When preparing an email about upcoming events and school news, a staff member mistakenly attached a satirical document that caught parents off guard upon receiving it. The brilliant document that was sent out is a “Hurt Feelings Report” with the principal purpose “to assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings.”
— Fox News (@FoxNews) February 18, 2016
Check out the document in full at NBC 10 New York or simply google “Hurt Feelings Report” and find a couple different versions.
Some highlights in the form include: “Name Of Person Who Hurt Your Pansy Ass Feelings” and “Did You Require A Tissue For Tears?” under the injury section of the report. The various reasons for filing the report include: “I am a wimp,” “I am a crybaby,” or “I want my mommy.” My favorite comes from the U.S. Military versions I’ve seen floating around the web, which seems to be the origin of the satirical document. Under the authorization section, it requires the name and signature of a “Real Man/Woman” along with the whiner in question.
Every college in America should stock these forms in bulk and, once filled out, should file them appropriately, in the trash can.
The possibilities are endless in how whiners of the world can finally learn to suck it up..
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