Apparently Even Hipsters Hate Hipsters

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When you run a coffee shop, any coffee shop, even a coffee shop named something wildly offensive to liberals like “Unrepentant Assault Weapon Owner Coffee Co.,” you’re going to be forced to be around a lot of hipsters. In fact if you give your coffee shop a name that’s meant to scare away hipsters it’ll probably end up drawing more of them because it’d be ironic to drink there.

“Ohmygod, this place is SO red state. It’s like I’m in another country. (*stifles laughter*) Can I order, like, an apple pie or something?”

Being around too many hipsters can drive anyone crazy, even other hipsters apparently. Case in point, Four Barrel Coffee in San Francisco. A long time hipster hangout, the coffee house owners decided they’d heard enough of people promoting their bands, conceptualizing Thought Catalog columns, and sharing the locations of the best dumpsters to find clothes in. Four Barrel’s neighbors were also fed up with the hipster static, which led the coffee house to post this sign in their alley, where they serve coffee on the weekends, because of course they serve coffee to hipsters in the alley. Fucking San Francisco.

Looks like someone forgot to wear their smug suit. Goddamn hipsters.

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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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  1. 0
    scally333

    Would love to see some drunk driver come barreling down that alley and cripple a few of those self-impressed dewshkis while they try and enjoy their fair-trade coffee.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      cleavage

      I would definitely buy a double tall grande vanilla carmel cappuccino expresso Americano at Unrepentant Assault Weapon Owner Coffee Co.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 0
    Frat Like a Boss

    The ‘Hipster’ thing will blow over soon enough. I hate them just as much as you, but stop talking about how much you fucking hate them. I understand, they’re awful, but talking about how much you hate them is almost as annoying as them.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  3. -1
    FR

    “When San Francisco, Portland, and Seattle are ashes, you have my permission to die….”

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago