Everything You Missed While Drinking Your Ass Off At Tailgate: College Football Week 5 Recap

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Nice Move

You just put in a 14-hour day crushing countless Game Day Lights on an empty stomach, asserted dominance over any fool that went even remotely close to the ladderball setup, and shamelessly finger blasted your pledge brother’s 18-year-old sister under the sign-in table. Needless to say, you had your hands full, so you undoubtedly missed what went down throughout the rest of the country. But no worries, guys. That’s what I’m here for: To spend Saturdays watching college football. Your thanks is not necessary, as I’m not in this line of work for the praise. I make the sacrifice of planting my ass firmly on the couch so people like you don’t have to — so you can go out and live the tailgate life the way tailgate life was meant to be lived. At the very least, hopefully this makes that crippling hangover today more bearable.

Week 5

College Gameday was more of a festival environment than ACL.


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There’s not enough beer in the world to watch a UCF football game.

Oklahoma stomps WVU. Cue the Baker Mayfield video.

Northwestern and Iowa give Big 10 fans a false sense of conference depth.

Your weekly Danny Kanell trolling the SEC tweet.

Mark Richt’s football philosophy: never set expectations too high.

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We’re going to have to put up with Florida football fans for at least another two weeks until Death Valley.

Clemson hangs on and doesn’t pull a Clemson.

Around the rest of the country.


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