Exclusive Interview With Alan Ritchson, Thad Castle From “Blue Mountain State”

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“Blue Mountain State” week continues here at TFM with the one and only Alan Ritchson. You might know him better as Thad Castle, stud linebacker and male masturbatory aid extraordinaire. If you thought the interview with Eric Falconer and Romanski was good, just wait until you read this.

In the BMS Documentary, the cast seemed to completely agree that you were the biggest asshole on set. Are they just jealous?

Oh yeah I’m the A-hole. Just because I like to do fun-loving pranks just for fun and giggles, I’m an A-hole. Yeah right… Misunderstood-fun-loving-guy is more like it.

Like that one time, I shit on the toilet seat in Romanski’s trailer and left a smiley face on his counter made of the toilet paper I wiped with. Totally hilarious and fun loving!! I mean, I made a smiley face for him for Tebow’s sake!  If that makes me an A-hole then lock me up and throw away the key. Cause I’m an A-hole.

Personal question time– have you ever used a pocket pussy?

If by pocket pussy you mean Ed Marinaro’s hand? Then yes, I mangled that pocket pussy.

Don’t worry, Ed will never read this. He’s older than Yoda and just called me to tell me we should send all the donors of our Kickstarter campaign a thank you fax.

Has the role of Thad Castle bled into your everyday life? Do you ever find yourself wanting to haze the living balls out of annoying people you run into?

I’m always a hairsbreadth away from laying people out. It takes a lot for me to restrain myself when I’m surrounded by so many stupid idiots 24/7. But for the most part, I think I do a pretty good job of containing the beast. Just a fair warning for anyone who wants to stay alive, I’ll name a few of the pet peeves that bring me right to edge of Thad Badassle-ness:

  1. Stupid idiot drivers.
  2. Dumb people.
  3. When you accidentally brush your hands accidentally against a hot strangers butt or sometimes even accidentally the boobs, and they get all mad like you did it on purpose.
  4. When they forget to put the sugar in the mojito and it tastes like crap.
  5. Sloots that dress like sloots but then when you grab them to drag them back to your apartment and show them your boner they get all like, “What the hellsies?” on you.

So basically, if you want to be BFF’s for life with me, just don’t be an idiot and do those things.

What was your favorite episode to shoot? Were those real drugs in the drug olympics?

My favorite episode was Vision Quest. Despite the fact that, in the scene where Thad finds the magic tower with the dildo door-knob and he assumes he has to go down on it to open the door, everyone made me choke to death on it and do the take like a hundred times. Yeah, aside from that, it was a lot of fun to shoot that episode and I loved how much imagination it had, how we really pushed the rules of our show to the limit while still staying true to our world, and how I had a chance to do a scene with myself. Which is pretty much a perfect scene, IMHO.

On an average day on set, how many times would you see Romanski’s dick and/or bowel movements?

On my phone or in person? Minimum ten times a day in person. Dick pics were constant. Basically every time he saw it, we would too. It was awesome.

I learned to put a password on my phone the hard way. At some point during the first season, I left my phone on my chair and went to the bathroom. When I came back I opened my phone and saw an extreme close-up of a tiny hairy dick as my wallpaper. But that wasn’t the best part, I got rid of that real quick. The caveat was the fact that he also managed to set that scabby dick shot as a ringtone photo for all these contacts in my phone. So every time I ‘d get a call from someone I had to relive the horror. Most the time, by the time I hung up the phone I’d have forgotten that I needed to delete the contacts photo, so he’d get me again the next time they called. It was a dark few months for me.

Would you consider seducing Paula Abdul on American Idol a launching point for your career? Tell the truth– you got her number didn’t you. 

That’s probably still my crowning achievement. I usually use that as an ice-breaker at parties and in meetings with studio heads and the like. I moved to LA after my experience on American Idol, BTW.  Also, there’s probably a 10 year old running around LA somewhere named Paulana Ratchdul.

Kidding of course, I don’t know what she named it.

How do fans normally react when they recognize you? Any interesting stories you’d like to share? As long as they aren’t James Franco-esque, we’d love to hear them.

Well, since 90% of my fans are college-age dudes, I can promise you that there are no Instagram hook-up efforts. (Pablo, John, Tom, Joe, William, Frank, Ed Marinaro, I will double what I’m paying you if you don’t ever ‘James Franco’ me).

For the most part, people are pretty cool. Every once in a while people get a little crazy or forceful. By the way, to the person who says, “You’re an actor, it’s what you signed up for.” Someone following you home or a stranger shoving a phone against your head and saying “Talk to my friend,” or being grabbed and pulled toward some strangers group of friends, is not what I signed up for. There is a difference between polite recognition and a respectful request, and flagrant invasion of privacy. Most people will never know what a life-long invasion of privacy feels like, so I don’t expect anyone to understand or agree.  But that’s like 5% of the time. K, I’m done.

Are you channeling any particular athletes when you get inside the mind of Thad? Who are some inspirations you take into the character?

The only athletes I ever liked growing up were Michael Jordan and Emmitt Smith. Both the Bulls and the Cowboys were in their hayday when I was a kid. Now, I don’t watch basketball and Jerry Jones has absolutely ruined the Cowboys. I’m ashamed to be a Cowboys fan. Jerry Jones ruined them. You know Jerry Jones admitted publicly he doesn’t care about winning, he only cares about people talking about the Cowboys. I understand that it’s a business too, but that really sucks if you’re a Cowboys fan. Which he guaranteed I won’t be as long as he’s involved.  I heard the Clippers are a popular team right now? Maybe I’ll pick up the old B-ball again!?

What was the question? Oh… No, I have no heroes to channel.

So let’s talk about the movie– since Thad technically graduated at the end of Season 3, what’s the plan for incorporating that role into the final project? 

We’ll either do a Back-To-The-Future kind of movie… Like, shot for shot. Where Thad is Biff’s character, but Biff is way more rabied out and steals the time machine and goes to Studio 54 when it was super awesome back in the 80’s.

That, or we’re kicking around the idea that Thad has received a huge signing bonus before going number one in the draft. We find him at BMS before leaving to go pro, but he’s like Zuckerberg rich. So, Thad with money, power, COCAAAAINE!

I still like the Back-To-The-Future idea myself, but whatevs.

Romanski and Eric mentioned the possibility of a Tim Tebow beastiality cameo in the upcoming movie. Are you on board? As a UF grad, I have to say that this video left me an interesting combination of entertained and insulted.

I actually really love Tim Tebow.  I always rooted for him to win.  My wife went to UF as well (yeah that’s right, I’m married sloots so get off ma nutz). That said, when I’m in character all bets are off. So yeah, beastiality, no beastiality, I’m watching Tim Tebow and a goat, I’m participating…who gives a shiz. I’m just excited that it’s basically official that I get to bone Tim Tebow, that’s all I care about.

Will post-grad life bring us a new Thad? Will there ever be a point in Thad’s life where he says “I think I’ve had enough cocaine?”

Does a whale shit in the ocean?

You mean to tell me you think that when Thad goes pro and has more money, fame and power, he will play it safe? Not a chance. Thad is a loaded gun and the whole damn world’s getting shot-up!!! (I do not endorse gun violence, also not sure what I just said).

Describe your expectations for the Blue Mountain State movie in six words or less. Don’t use the word “tits,” we already know those are coming.

Boner’s. Lot’s of ‘em.

I noticed you guys just added a “Jerking Off/Not Jerking Off” sign as a reward for Kickstarter donations. Besides that obvious reason, tell us why you think our fans should get behind the Blue Mountain State movie cause.

Sure, we taught people how to protect themselves from unwanted intrusions while having a little “me” time. But everyone still has a lot to learn, and with this movie we can take this education to graduate level classes.

We didn’t get the chance to go there on the show because it ended unexpectedly, before its time. If the fans who loved the show support this film, we can make something we know they’ll love. With the fans support, it will mean there is no one standing in the way of us making the kind of movie that we know everyone will enjoy. You never know what kind of signs will be hanging on door-knobs after the movie.

Thanks again for your time, Alan. Any parting words for the TFM faithful?
Thanks for having me! Really enjoyed answering some questions that matter for once. To the TFM faithful I just want to say, we hope you enjoy BMS week this week and if what you’re seeing seems fun to you, support us on Kickstarter so we can make a movie we know you’ll love. If you do, we will continue to make special content just for you here at TFM, that’s a promise. We hope to have a long and fruitful life together… like a wiener with bananas hanging off it.

DONATE TO THE BMS KICKSTARTER HERE 

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